Behind Enemy Lines
by kaysha14
Summary: Meredith gets shocking news and the only person she can turn to is her lover's wife. They surprise each other by becoming friends but what happens when Addison is continually hurt by her husband and his mistress? MerDer Maddison
1. Prologue

Addison and Derek lay in front of the warm fireplace. They were naked apart from the blanket covering them. Derek was holding his head up with his hand and was staring down at her. The fire cast a pretty orange hue over his face.

" _This has been the best Christmas ever." She smiled._

" _What even though I got you a gift you didn't want and it's so cold outside we can't leave the house?"_

_She laughed._

" _Derek I love you, I would want any gift you give me…and you are the worst gift giver ever so its something I can get used to." They both laughed._

" _I'm not the worst gift giver ever…right?" she laughed again, not bothering to answer forcing him to start tickling her._

" _Okay okay stop." She said breathless._

" _This has just been so perfect. Being stuck in here all day. None of our crazy families antics."_

" _Soon we'll be able to create our own crazy family antics." He smiled and kissed her._

" _Soon huh? You know something I don't?"_

" _I know that you are going to be the most amazing mother and that I can't wait to make lots of babies with you."_

_She bit her lip._

" _We may already have." _

_He looked confused but smiled._

" _What do you mean?"_

" _I'm late."_

" _This…this is the best Christmas." He started tickling her more and kissing her. She giggled._

" _I love you so much." He whispered into her hair.

* * *

_

Meredith sank back into the pillows and sighed a satisfied sigh into herself. Derek gave her a kiss on the check and closed his eyes allowing sleep to finally take him. Meredith watched him as his breathing slowed and she knew he was asleep. She smiled as warmth overcame her; she was falling for him.

"Tonight was the best ever, he must have tried something_ different_." She thought to herself.

Little did she know that trouble was coming in the form of Dr Montgomery-Shepard.

Just a little introduction. **Read on for Lies, love, betrayals, cat-fights and _friendships_**.


	2. Something Different

Meredith sat on the tiled floor hugging her knees trying to stop the words ringing in her ears. It had been a while now since the words had been spoken but they still plagued her thoughts.

"She's my wife"

Meredith couldn't breathe. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She felt so pathetic and stupid just sitting here crying.

* * *

Addison Shepard walked through the halls of Seattle Grace. She was tired today and couldn't wait for the shift to be over. Spotting the ladies sign she hurried towards the room, wanting a much needed couple of minutes quite time. Opening the door her heels clicked on the tiled floor. She stopped at the sinks and listened very carefully, she could have sworn she heard the slightest sniff. She turned and noticed someone sitting on the floor of one of the stalls, their blue scrubs slightly visible beneath the door.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she walked back towards the door, opening and closing it. Sure enough less than a minute later sobs could be heard coming from the stall. Something nagged at her telling her that Meredith Grey was sitting in that stall but she shooed these thoughts away. Pangs of guilt still unwontedly etching their way into her head made her decide to stay for another few minutes to see if this person would come out.

Just as she was going to leave, she heard shuffling from the stall and then Meredith Grey emerged, looking quite worse for ware and headed straight to the sink. She hadn't noticed Addison.

The next few actions played in slow motion in front of Addison. Meredith had been holding something in her hand that made Addison's heart race. Meredith threw the item into the sink with a thud. Addison loudly let out the breath she hadn't been aware she was holding and now Meredith noticed her. Addison cautiously walked towards her. Meredith was too exhausted to even try concealing the item. When Addison reached her she offered her a small smile. She looked down at the word on the stick.

"Negative"

Relief washed over her. She looked up at Meredith and raised her hand slightly as if to touch Meredith, it hovered for a sec and then dropped to her side once more.

"Are you okay?" She enquired kindly.

Meredith put on a brave face and lied through her teeth.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

" I'm sorry you got hurt." She said genuinely

She raised her hand once more and this time managed to touch Meredith, resting a comforting hand on her arm. Meredith was startled but the act of kindness but didn't remove the woman's hand.

"I'll leave you alone."

She turned to leave when something caught her eye. She walked towards Meredith's evacuated stall and sure enough three white sticks were lined up all embroidered with the same word.

" Oh." She stated sullenly.

" Yep." Meredith stated matter-of-factly but instantly started crying again. Addison took a step towards her but Meredith ran back into the stall. Meredith took a few deep breaths and managed to stop herself.

"So uh how come that last one was negative?"

" I poured water on it to check they were working." She chucked a little "Stupid huh?"

" Are you going to tell Derek?"

Meredith closed her eyes and mustered the strength to lie, the last thing she needed was Derek involved.

" It's not his."

Addison suspected this as a lie but said nothing.

" I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself."

" Of course."

What do you think? It played out differently in my head but this is how it turned out. It will get better! R&R please :) My first Grey's fic be nice.


	3. Can't escape the elevator

Okay only one review but a lot of people added this to alerts so I decided to get the show on the road. I don't own Grey's.

* * *

Meredith walked round the halls efficiently doing her job. Her thoughts were on more pressing personal matters though. What the hell was she going to do?

_And I don't know  
This could break my heart or save me  
Nothing's real  
Until you let go completely_

She had been working a lot with Derek today and this unnerved her. She hoped her sullen look and demeanour had went unnoticed by him, well it had been pretty much the same since he went back to Addison but of course learning she was pregnant at the worst possible time could only increase this sullenness. Unfortunately her total lack in concentration had not.

" Dr Grey." He said, failing to gain her attention.

" Meredith?"

" Huh, what?" She snapped out of her daydream shamefacedly.

" Mr Olsen's labs?"

" Oh uh yeah I'll get them right away."

_So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving  
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me_

She approached her friends sitting eating lunch with absolutely no intention of eating. She had felt like puking all day, luckily not actually doing so. As soon as she sat though she was instantly ravenous. Looking at her friends' trays she decided George was her best bet for stealing food from.

" Hey George I'm starving can I have some of your food?" She smiled at him.

" Yeah sure."

She grabbed his hamburger and devoured most of it in one go.

" Why are you stealing George's lunch?" Izzie inquired.

" The sight of Dr & Dr Shepard turned my stomach, I wasn't expecting to be hungry."

Her peers nodded in agreement, instantly understanding. George looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

" I only expected you to take the pudding, not the whole meal." He said a little sulkily just as his beeper went off.

" You are so lucky " he said as he went off to answer his page.

" Oohh." The girls chorused pretending to be scared. The 3 of them laughed and Meredith was grateful for her friends, they always cheered her up even when they didn't know what was up._  
_

_And I don't know  
I could crash and burn but maybe  
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me_

Meredith returned from lunch so she could start her rounds, she felt much more uplifted than before, a smile even threatening to play on her lips. This was short lived. Along the corridor she could see Addison and Derek talking; they looked happy. She sick feeling returned, she realised it was going to be a while before she was _okay._

_Three months and I'm still standing here  
Three months and I'm getting better yeah  
Three months yeah, three months are hard_

* * *

Surprisingly Meredith had been working with Addison on a case today. Usually it was Izzie, who was now practically Addison's protégé, Meredith would usually be the surgeon's last choice - not surprising considering how they were all linked. Meredith figured Addison must either: feel sorry for her, feel guilty, was scouting for information or wanted to torture her.

_Oh how my life is fun, thought Meredith._

_Well I've been walkin, walkin behind enemy lines  
And I've been fightin, fightin from the other side  
I've been sayin, sayin that I won't fall this time  
But now I'm walkin, walkin within enemy lines_

It had been three days since Meredith had taken the tests. She had done nothing about it, no word had been uttered to anyone to gain some comfort nor had she contacted any doctor to make an appointment. It was like she was paralysed, all she could do was think about it, hell that was all she did do, she couldn't move to do anything else. The blow should have been lessened by the fact she already knew she was pregnant before she pee'ed on any sticks; she was after all, a doctor.

Tuning back into the present, Meredith watched Addison talk to the patient. She was gorgeous, one of the best if not the best neonatal surgeon, rich and married to Derek. How could Meredith ever compete? Addison was like a super being. She finished up talking to the patient and left the room, Meredith following behind. She turned to instruct Meredith but instead frowned at her.

" You don't look so good."

" I'm fine."

" Are you sure? I don't need interns fainting on me."

" I'll go see if the Jamieson results are in." She turned on her heel and deemed that as her answer.

See I was tryin to be everything you weren't expecting  
All I ever wanted was to try and keep you guessing  
But I'm falling way too fast

Her friends had made attempts to speak to her, to help her. She had cut them off at every corner reciting, "I'm fine" each time. The simple truth was she didn't know what to do, she could probably take the whole length of the pregnancy just deciding but that would hardly work.

Once again Meredith stepped into an empty elevator only to have Addison Shepard board at the next floor – alone. Meredith mentally rolled her eyes as she stepped forward to show Addison the chart she had.

" Jamieson results."

" Okay prep the OR and page Dr Burke, we have to operate now."

After a long, gruelling surgery they had successfully saved Mother and baby and Meredith had thankfully reached her 80-hour limit. She wondered if Addison had chosen her for the case not to gain information or because she felt sorry for her but because she felt it may aid in Meredith's decision-making. If someone with a very rare medical condition and a less than picturesque life could raise a child then couldn't she a healthy doctor no less do the same? Meredith stepped into the elevator and smiled at the two nurses init, glad she wasn't alone with Addison again. Thinking too soon, the next floor the nurses exited and who should board but devil in heels, who wasn't actually so devilish and whom Meredith had a hard time hating.

_What is this the elevator chronicles of the Wife and Mistress?_

" Are you okay, I'm not trying to annoy you, you just look…sad?"

" Wouldn't you look sad if your ex-boyfriend's wife looked like you?" Meredith said light-heartedly, trying to joke rather than actually talk about it. Addison laughed.

" Yeah well I guess." She replied equally light-hearted.

" Have you told anyone or talked to anyone about it?"

" Nope." Addison nodded in understanding.

" I'm a good listener."

_And now I'm walkin, walkin behind enemy lines  
And now I'm fightin, fightin from the other side  
I've been sayin, sayin I won't fall this time  
Now I'm walkin, walkin within enemy lines_

* * *

Okay so there is it, it was originally 2 chapters hence the two different songs. So vote time should it be MerDer or Addek? **Review review review :D**


	4. Mother of all confessions

Hey guys thanks for the reviews, as always it's an on going battle between MerDer and Addek but fear not whoever our McDreamy ends up with there will be a happy ending for all. For now I'm just sticking with what I had planned in my head for the next few chapters and I'll be asking for you're opinion on more things as it's all you you guys! Keep voting for Addek or MerDer! Don't own Grey's :(

* * *

"You know Addison I bet everyone in here would find it hard to believe you're a world class neonatal surgeon considering you decided to bring a pregnant woman into a bar."

" You came of your own free will and besides you won't be drinking."

" I wouldn't be so sure."

" Meredith " Addison scolded.

" What? This is all way too much for me to process."

" Well that's why we're here, you're not talking to your friends, you're not talking to a doctor so maybe talking to your rival will help. So talk?"

Meredith just looked at her hands, it was just too much, she needed time to adjust. _What the hell am I doing, hanging out with Addison Shepard? She's the last person I should be talking to she caused this mess. _

" What do I do?" She sighed.

_Oh, it tears me up  
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much  
I tried to forgive but it's not enough  
To make it all okay_

" That's a decision only you can make Meredith not even…the father can make the decision he can only give his input." Addison said the father with hesitation, clearly still unsure whether it was Derek's. " But you should tell your family, tell your friends they can help you make this work – if you want to."

" My friends are my family. Half the time my mother doesn't know who I am and I haven't seen my father since I was a kid. But it's strange my mother and I had such a hard relationship; she was cold and hard on me, I guess she couldn't distinguish between being a great surgeon and being a terrible mother. You know once we had a huge argument, the worst we'd ever had and she told me I didn't have what it takes to be a surgeon." She pauses " And yet I wish I could just go and talk to her."

Her eyes filled with tears, Addison laid a comforting hand on her arm.

" You know what I think, I think you should go and see her, I mean she may not recognise you but it's the disease that doesn't, she's still in there, somewhere, and on some level she would know what you were saying. I think it could help to just go and get it all out."

_Running back through the fire  
When there's nothing left to say  
It's like chasing the very last train  
When it's too late, too late_

* * *

Addison walked into the trailer; Derek was lying in bed reading.

" Hey where've you been?"

" I had something to do."

She through her coat onto the table and walked straight into the bedroom. She crawled onto the bed and kissed him forcefully. Derek hesitated for a moment, there was so much need and longing in that kiss, she looked sad, her eyes begging him and searching his face. Then he was kissing her. Clothes were coming off and he was kissing her everywhere. She gasped as he started kissing her neck, his hand slowly moving up her thigh. There was no looking back.

_Oh, what are we doing?  
We are turning into dust  
Playing house in the ruins of us_

* * *

Meredith stopped in the doorway as she had so often found herself doing and watched the scene before her. Her mother was sitting in the arm chair, she looked deep in thought but Meredith had no idea what went on in her mind now - though had she ever? She was relieved to find Richard Webber was not here as this was something she had to do.

" Hey Mom." She said sitting across from her mother. The woman looked at her but made no response; Meredith assumed this dreadful disease had once again captured her mind.

" So there's been a lot going on, I mean work is hard and tiring. And of course it doesn't help that Mcdreamy, my Mcdreamy works at the hospital and so does his wife, who's suddenly being way to nice to me. And I made a mistake and now I have this life-altering thing that could either be a mistake or be something wonderful. And I don't know what to do or what to say. And it's hard it's just too hard." Meredith took a large breath.

" And I'm rambling and making you ever more unproud by getting pregnant when I'm not married or even in a relationship and I'm still and intern." She started to cry.

Ellis looked at Meredith, as though she were really looking at her. She got up and walked over to Meredith.

" I couldn't be more proud of you Meredith. I know I do and say things that hurt you but I don't mean it. Everything's going to be okay." She wrapped her in a huge hug. Meredith melted into it; it had been so very long since they had shared a hug like this.

" You'll figure it out. You'll learn from my mistakes. You'll be a wonderful surgeon and if not right not then someday you'll make an amazing mother."

Meredith let go of the breath she didn't even know she was holding and a weight lifted. She was grateful, so grateful for this moment, one that she'd probably never get again.

" Nurse I've got lives to save, I don't get paid to stand here hugging, now get off me and book that OR!"

Meredith held on for a second longer, taking strength from the hug. She pulled away and gave her mother a smile.

" Right away Dr Grey."

_Let me hold you for the last time  
It's the last chance to feel again_

Okay guys there you have it **REVIEWWW **please :). New chapter up tomorrow hopefully revealing more details and having more drama :D


	5. Stop the world 1

Thanks for the reviews guys, I appreciate it. This is a long one, a 2 part. Stick with this guys! Don't own Grey's.

_In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent. A smell of death. Something. There's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you. You feel it coming. Whatever it is. It's creepy. Because if you know. What do you do about it? Forget about the fact you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?_

_I don't know why  
I don't know why  
I'm so afraid_

* * *

Addison Montgomery-Shepard was sitting on a couch in the doctor's lounge alone. Clearly very upset because the hospital had a code black. Just now though she was staring at the date on the sheet in front of her. Her period was late. God this was like a soap opera.

* * *

Meredith once again couldn't breathe. This was becoming a reoccurring feeling. _What have I done? _She thought. Her heart started racing_. _She should have left when Burke told her to. _I've been so scared about this baby that I stayed here, with a bomb so I could have something else to think about. I should have left when Hannah started talking crazy but I didn't. Now I have to be brave. My hand is touching a bomb, I have put my child's life in danger, and I may never see their face. I did this. _Tears sprung to her eyes.

" You realize how stupid that was."

" It was Mer. Incredibly stupid!" Christina said clearly distressed.

" Okay you know when you don't need to be made fun of? Like when you've got your hand inside a body that's got a bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your boobs." _Or when you're growing a person inside you're uterus._ She sighed.

" You've got a sense of irony."

" Only when things are really ironic." She turns to Cristina "I had a feeling."

This morning she had noticed she had put on weight. This was to be expected given her condition but Meredith had not been ready to see that. She was sure people would notice and couldn't deal with that yet. She didn't want to come in but had been forced by her friends. Look what happened. Christina shoots Meredith a look.

" What's that?" the chief of the bomb squad, Dylan, asks.

" Nothing." _I'm going to kill a person before they've even lived. So much for doing better than my mother._

Burke comes in and orders Christina to leave, obviously scared for her safety. Christina looks at Meredith hesitant to leave her in this predicament.

" We'll be fine. It's okay." Meredith assures. _I'm already in hell, no need to drag her as well._

Christina and burke say goodbye while Meredith stood teary-eyed, with her hand inside some guy's body cavity, touching a live bomb. Meredith takes a deep breath to calm herself as Christina leaves the OR. _I need to calm down, babies can sense distress, if I happen to survive this I don't want to poor kid to also be dark and twisty._

" So you have a plan right?" She nods to herself. " You have a way to get me out of this, right?"

Dylan just stares back at her. _Great my life and that of my unborn child is left in the hands of an arrogant ass, who has no plan. Things couldn't get any worse._

_And I don't know how  
I don't know how  
To fix the pain _

* * *

" Calm down." Addison tells Richard.

" Calm down? I have an evacuated O.R. A bomb in a body cavity. A missing paramedic! An intern with her hand on the explosive! Two world class surgeons in harm's way!" George walks up behind them. "A man on a table who may bleed out at any moment unless we move the bomb from his chest! And my favourite resident in labour who you're now telling me refuses to push! Really, calm down? You really want to say to me calm down?"

" Okay don't calm down! - Wait intern?"

" Meredith put her hand in the body cavity when Hannah ran off."

Addison gasps and covers her mouth with her hand.

" What was she thinking? She's not in an appropriate condition." She mumbles.

" And Dr. Bailey is scared, sir. It's a day to be scared."

Addison looks at the floor clearly still disturbed by the news she's just heard. What George has just said registers and she goes back into doctor mode.

" She won't let me examine her but from what I can tell her contractions are 40 seconds apart and she's refusing to push. The baby could go into distress and if she doesn't come out of this and soon, then I'm gonna need an O.R to do an emergency C-section."

" I can't give you an O.R Addie! I don't have an O.R to give. Can't you convince her to push? Bailey's rational."

" She's not Bailey right now! She's a woman in labour whose husband is in surgery next to a bomb."

" So is yours." _So is my friend who happens to be pregnant. God I feel sick._

" This is about Bailey. I need an O.R."

" I don't know what to tell you."

" Look Richard, we have about an hour to change Bailey's mind and then I'm going to need you to get me an O.R. Build me an O.R. Find me a helicopter to fly me to any O.R in the city. Otherwise instead of having a baby, she'll be losing one."

Addison starts to walk away but turns back.

" If you hear anything about Meredith…" Richard and George look confused as to why she is so concerned with Meredith all of a sudden.

" And my husband, you'll let me know?"

They both silently nod.

_We're livin a lie  
Livin a lie  
We just need to change_

* * *

Burke and Dylan are whispering. Meredith's blood boils as her damn pregnancy hormones increase her rage through the roof.

" Stop it!" She demands and they stop whispering.

" I'm not a patient for god's sake! The two of you are looking at me the way we look at patients. Like I'm going to freak out at any minute. I'm not gonna freak out so whatever it is just tell me straight out."

" The main oxygen line runs directly under this room." Burke says and then stares at her.

" Okay. Not okay. … Well? I need one of you two to tell me what this means exactly. Because I think I know what it means. But I tend to be glass half-empty these days so I won't trust what I think it means. Because what I think it means if the bomb were to explode over the oxygen line the hospital could blow up. … And that's just crazy right?" Meredith looks distraught.

" Meredith all it means is we have to move."

_All it means is we have to move oh great cause I'm holding a bomb! Calm down stress not good for baby! Deep breaths..._

" Move?" Burke asks.

"That's right. We have to move." He whispers to Burke. "Now because I don't want to spend another second in this room."

" This is unbelievable! I can't wiggle my god damn fingers and you want to move the whole fucking gurney?!" Meredith's breathing hastened. _We're going to die; we're going to die! Gotta think positive, if a patient goes into surgery going to die they die, if they think they're going to live, they live – this better apply for bombs. _

" Think positive, we're going to live!" Meredith says aloud her rambling thoughts getting the better of her.

Dylan and Burke exchange a look worried by Meredith's changing attitude.

" Yeah Meredith that's right. Now you just gotta stay calm. Moving is our safest, safest option."

" So we move. Not a problem. We can do this. You handling this Grey?"

" I'm handling this."

_Cuz we're out of time  
We're out of time  
And it's still the same _

* * *

Addison is sitting in the hallway looking really upset. _I can't believe this is happening. _Her eyes tear up, so much pent up sadness and frustration threatening to spill out. She felt like she was dealing with everyone's problems her own what with her husband in love with someone else and operating next door to a bomb and her realisation of the date and what that may mean. Miranda's problems of refusing to have her baby. And Meredith's problems she felt so scared for her. Worst of all she knew she should dislike Meredith but she didn't, they had become friends now against the odds and Addison wanted to protect her, mother her almost.

George walks down the hallway.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepard. What are we gonna do? I mean about Dr. Bailey. Can, can we drug her?"

"Against her will?"

"No. Well … yes. Can't we force her to push if we ah declare her temporarily insane?"

Addison looks clearly annoyed_. I can't deal with incompetent questions right now! _She lets out a noise of frustration.

"Ah. You want me to declare Miranda Bailey, _Miranda Bailey_ incompetent? Do you think that will help? Do you think that will make her more inclined, more comfortable giving birth?"

"I'm just asking."

Rage gets the better of Addison.

"Stop asking! Because no matter what you ask the answer is I don't know. I'm doing everything thing I can! Everything I can! Miranda Bailey's husband is in mortal danger. Actual mortal danger! And there's not a lot I can say to comfort her right now because there's not a lot that anybody can say to comfort me! I'm doing my best! Dr. Bailey is doing her best! And I need you to do your best! And I need it to better than standing here asking me the world's most stupidest question! I don't know O'Malley!"

George leaves obviously upset. Addison lets the tears fall. _If I am pregnant, then figuring it out on a day like this means I am clearly screwed._ This thought defeated her and her tears seemed never ending.

_Hearin the noise  
Hearin the noise  
From all of them _

* * *

Meredith walks very slowly. Her arm aches as she tries to keep it still inside the cavity whilst moving with the gurney. Her thoughts are on her baby as guilt overcomes her for putting her child's life in danger.

" You're doing great." Dylan assures.

" Let's go over it again." She had asked twice already but needed to know it was going to be okay, this was her child's life.

"The device is shaped like a rocket. About 8 inches long. We're going to have everything ready. Dr. Burke's team is going to be in place. My team is going to be in place. And I'm going to ask you to take the hand that you have in Mr. Carlson, wrap it around the device-"

" And pull it out." She breathed finishing for him.

" Level. Pull it out while keeping it level."

"You know I don't like you very much."

" I don't like you that much either."

_I really don't like myself that much right now. _She thought.

Christina comes up the hallway

" What are you doing?"

" Stop! Stop right where you are!"

" What are you doing?" She repeats.

" I thought Dr. Burke told you to leave."

"We're moving to an O.R further away from the oxygen line. You know in case we blow up." Meredith said this in a light-hearted tone, part of her trying to keep positive so the baby wouldn't be stressed. Christina and Dylan bicker about her presence there and he lets her stay but at a distance.

" You ready?"

Meredith nods. _As I'll ever be._

_And I'm on the edge  
I'm on the edge  
Of breakin down_

Okay so 1st part thoughts?? Read part 2 first that may be better. :)


	6. Stop the world 2

" I have to tell you something."

" No Mer you don't, don't think like that."

" I'm not, it's good, I mean I thought it was bad but being in a life or death situation really puts perspective on things. It might be kinda awkward for you but you're my friend-"

Christina interrupted her rambling. " Well then tell me later Mer, tell me when we can laugh and smile and be happy about it."

" Okay but in that case you have to tell me something cause Cristina, I have my hand on a bomb. I'm freaking out and most importantly I really have to pee. Tell me anything!" _Most importantly I'm pregnant. _Christina recounts the story of Burke's love confession during this the gurney hits a metal bar on the floor and stops moving. A wave of fear flows through Meredith. She closes her eyes.

_So keep it alive  
Keep it alive  
Don't make a sound_

Now in the OR with James's gurney in place Meredith feels like she could die with her nerves alone.

" We're good Meredith?"

" Yeah." She says slowly looking terrified.

" Remember remove it while keeping it level as possible." Meredith nods. " Nice and easy. No quick movements. Level."

" Right level."

" You ready?"

"I uh … … Do I have a choice?" _I'm so sorry baby, I'm so deeply sorry._

" You have to be ready."

* * *

Christina is back in the OR with Derek

" How's it going out there Yang?"

" Everything's fine."

" How's the girl with bomb?"

" How's he doing?" Christina avoided the question.

" He's almost there. You didn't answer my question Yang."

" Sir?"

" How is the girl with the bomb?"

Cristina looks conflicted for a second.

" It's Meredith." Derek turns startled his pulse racing.

" The girl with bomb is Meredith." Derek feels as tightening in his chest as his heart clenches. _No._

_You said nobody has know  
If it's time to go  
And take it slow  
But I can stop the world  
If they finally let us be alone  
Let us be alone_

* * *

Meredith can't stop thinking, her mind in over drive. She can feel Dylan and burke talking but can't focus on what they're saying.

" Grey, Grey?" Burke encourages.

" Meredith." Dylan tries.

" Izzie and George shouldn't have to move out of the house…especially not now, I need my family…"

" No. You heard me."

" You should make sure. Make sure that they, that they get to stay in the house." She replies needing her friends to be okay, if she doesn't make it.

Meredith starts freaking out telling them both to go.

"Meredith I want you to look at me. (She is staring at Burke) Look at me. (She turns her gaze to Dylan who is standing directly in front of her) I know this is mad. And I know that I'm this ass who's been yelling at you all day. So you pretend that I'm not. You pretend that I'm someone you like. Whatever you need. But you need to listen to me."

Meredith looks down. When she looks back up she's with Derek. Tears stream down her face.

" I'm scared. It's not just me anymore."

"I know. You can do this. It'll be over in a second. … You can do this Meredith. You have too."

" Okay."

_You can't stop the world  
But there's so much more that we could do  
You can't stop this girl  
From falling more in love with you_

The surroundings fade and Meredith starts to pull out her hand.

" Gently." Dylan whispers.

She continues to pull it out. She feels like her heart just might stop. _I'm going to die._

She carefully pulls out the bomb and cries as she slowly hands it to Dylan.

" You did good." Dylan whispers.

He starts moving slowly away from the operating table. Meredith also backs away as Burke starts operating on Mr. Carlson. Dylan heads out the door. Meredith slowly follows him. She walks out the door and stands in front of it watching. She is filled with relief. _We did it, baby_.

Dylan is a few steps in away ready to pass it off to another Bomb Squad member. Suddenly there is a large explosion. It all happens in slow motion, Meredith gasps. _NO! This is it._ Meredith thinks as Dylan is instantly blown up. The force knocks Meredith backwards. Everything blows up and the windows smash. Meredith flies through the air caked in debris, blood and flesh. Everything is dark and dank as Meredith lies unconscious on the floor, hands on her stomach.

* * *

In the female locker room, Addison leads a completely dumbfounded Meredith into the shower. She removes her scrub cap and gown. She slowly strokes her cheek, glad she's okay. _I'll need to examine her; she could have miscarried from the fall or even the all stress. I hope she can deal with this. _Meredith starts to sob and suddenly Addison is hugging her wishing her pain away. And then Meredith's hugging her back, grateful for the unlikely friendship.

_If the world wont take  
That final blow  
I'll turn the other page  
I wont close the book _

I know everyone will most likely be NOOO! addison can't be pregnant too, but I think this would be a good way for Addison to be happy having unconditional love from a baby when shes not getting it from her marriage. The original plan was to have Meredith miscarriage and be okay with Addies preg because they're friends now however I realise this may be difficult after these 2 chaps...**Review** and we can see what'll happen.


	7. A Little Bit Longer

Thanks for the reviews guys, they're appreciated :D.

Addison walked into the bedroom she walked towards the bed that had a human sized lump under the duvet. She went and lay on the bed next to it. She lay in silence for a few minutes consumed by her own thoughts. She still hadn't had her period nor had she taken a test, this was all way too complicated. And she figured she best help her new found friend deal with her own pregnancy first, before seeing if she was in a pregnancy of her own. A rustling from the duvet next to her tore her from her thoughts.

" I know you're not sleeping."

" How did you get in?" Meredith mumbled.

" I have my ways."

" What breaking and entering? Cause there's no one else here."

" Ahh but you have a spare key hidden outside, wasn't hard to find – you should probably move it."

" Whatever."

" Are you planning on getting out of bed?"

" Nope."

" Come on Meredith you survived a bomb for God's sake, surely that's a sign to do something more than lay in bed."

Meredith sighed and kicked off the covers.

" I know, I'm not going into depression, I just wanted some quite time for like 5 minutes."

" Well 5 minutes is over, I took the day off so we're going shopping."

Meredith groaned. Addison rolled her eyes.

" There will be none of that negativity, we're going to have a nice girlie day. Besides it appears we have to pay a visit to some maternity shops." She said gesturing to Meredith's now more defined bump.

" Don't remind me I feel like a cow, it's so much bigger than it was yesterday, I thought it was supposed to be a gradual weight gain and I'd have more time before I had to tell people."

" Well you are naturally skinny it's not that surprising you're putting on weight, the baby just needs more room, and it's more noticeable to me anyway because I know that you're pregnant."

" Yeah but at this rate…"

" What sex would you like it to be."

Meredith absentmindedly rubbed her stomach whilst considering this. Addison smiled into herself, this was something she had seen countless women do, they'd be lost in their own world just them and their unborn baby – a secret bond, one she'd always hoped she have herself. Now that experience was a very likely possibility given her very late period but she was so scared of the fact that she couldn't bring herself to confirm it. As a doctor she had seen some strange predicaments but her own right now had to be one of the strangest. She was friends with her husbands' ex girlfriend, who was pregnant, with a baby she claimed wasn't Derek's but Addison couldn't be sure. And now Addison herself was most likely also pregnant. She sighed to herself, fate worked in mysterious ways.

" I don't really mind if it's a boy or a girl, like they say just as long as it's healthy." She looked down at her stomach once more " but I guess you're right I think some shopping's in order. Plus I'm absolutely dying for a Twinkie."

" Oh god yes, I'm starving."

_Got the news today  
Doctors said I had to stay  
A little bit longer and I'll be fine  
When I thought it'd all be done  
When I thought it'd all been said  
A little bit longer and I'll be fine_.

* * *

Walking around the large mall, both women were talking and listening to each other animatedly, whilst each carrying armfuls of bags. Addison gasped as she saw a shop that intrigued her.

" Oh my god we have to go in." She said rushing towards the baby-clothing store, Meredith walking more slowly behind her.

" Geez Addison you're more excited than I am." She said to her friends back as the other woman picked up tiny items of clothing and swooned.

" Everything's so cute!" she said pouting. Meredith smiled at how excited Addison was. She had noticed how caring a person Addison was, that first infamous meeting with Addison she had come across as some beautiful, Prada-wearing ice queen but Meredith had realised this was just a defence mechanism, a mask she had worn to cover up the hurt and insecurities. But in reality she cared a lot about her patients and her family and her friends and that now included Meredith.

" Have you ever thought about kids?"

" Umm yeah…" Addison replied slowly, choosing her words carefully " of course I've thought about it, I mean Derek and I were married for 11 years."

" Have been."

" What?"

" You have been married for 11 years, you said were."

" Oh right…well after everything that's been going on we're not exactly on 'lets have kids terms'."

" I think you'd make a great mother, you're very patient and you're kind but you can also be firm – all excellent parenting qualities. In fact you can have this kid if you want." Meredith said trying to joke and change the subject.

" Somehow I don't think that'll be necessary Dr Grey." _I think I've got that base covered all by myself. _" But thanks for the compliments all the same. You're not big on babies huh?"

" I do like kids but I think everyone knows I have serious mother issues so I didn't really know if I'd have kids, especially not now. But its here and happening, time I dealt with it so lets go look at some onesies."

Addison gave her a grin.

" Okay."

_But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone  
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low  
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow  
You don't even know know, know.  
You don't even know.

* * *

_

Meredith and Addie fell into Meredith's house laughing but tired from the mass of shopping they had with them.

" Wow you New Yorker's really know how to shop."

Addison laughed, " Yeah, I'm a total shopaholic, you can't beat the shops in New York. Though I didn't get much time to actually shop when I was there, what with our schedules and I mean that only gets worse when you have your own practice."

Addison looks to the floor obviously thinking about something.

_And you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.  
Don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah!  
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow,  
You don't even know.

* * *

_

" So you wanna stay for a while?"

Two hours later the women are watching a movie slobbed out on Meredith's couch. As the movie reaches its climax, tears form in Addison's eyes and slowly make their way down her cheeks. These quickly multiply and she begins to sob, realising she can't stop. Meredith turns to her concerned.

" Oh Addie, what's wrong."

Addison just shakes her head and Meredith knows it's her turn to comfort Addison, without needing to know why. She lays Addison's head in her lap and strokes her hair reassuring her its okay.

More and more waves of emotion hit Addison and all she can do is succumb to them and cry. Memories of New York flash through her head of happier times when her and Derek had been happy, when they had bought their very first apartment in New York, when they had gotten married, when they had each opened their own practices. Then the image of his face that fateful night when he had walked in on her and Mark, he just looked so broken and then he walked out of her life and she was broken. Then her thoughts shifted to the baby that she was most likely carrying, a baby that would be born almost the same time as Meredith's and only going to complicate everyone's lives so much further. A tiny person so innocent, they didn't deserve to be born into this – neither did Meredith's - how could they make such a mess? Images of what she thought the baby could look like filled her head and Mother Nature kicked in. she loved this baby, no matter what.

_So I'll wait 'til kingdom come.  
All the highs and lows are gone.  
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.  
I'll be...fine_

So this was just a kinda safe chapter, nothing really revealed so I promise revelations soon! If there's anything you'd like to see happen in the story or any suggestions just leave them in a review and I'll try to add it to the story. I'm taking my comptuer to the shop so might be a couple of days till the next one. **Review review **please!


	8. AN

Hey guys just to ensure the next chapter is everything you want it to be, I'd like your thoughts on:

How Addison should tell Meredith she's pregnant and what would you like her initial reaction to be?

How should they tell Derek?

And should Meredith's baby be McDreamys? ( base this on the fact that Addison's baby is Derek's so up to you if do you want them to have the same Daddy, if you do I'll work it out ;), though I do think Derek would still love Mer either way)

And of course anything else you wanna add :)

I'll update ASAP!


	9. Hardest Revelations

Okay guys thanks for the reviews, the new chapters are going to get much more dramatic I think :D. This episode is kinda based on 3x04, though prom hasn't happened yet as I may use that...

Addison lay back on the large medical bed, chewing on her nails nervously. She had worked up the courage to finally find out her fate, coming directly to the source - her gynaecologist. Now her stomach knotted and twisted, her courage gone, she sat awaiting her doctor to return feeling like a scared child. Her gynaecologist was an old college friend of her and Derek and worked in a more low-key hospital, the other side of Seattle, nice and far from Seattle grace. The last thing Addison wanted was to run into anyone, she wanted time to process her own feelings. The door opened and in walked her long time friend, Tyler Jones; the look on his face numbed her. He was smiling.

" Well Addie you tell Derek I wanna see him for a drink cuz you're definitely pregnant! Congratulations!" he bent down and kissed her on the cheek. " Okay so I know you know the drill but it's protocol and since I'm sure you're ecstatic I'll go through it all."

He proceeded to go through what happens after this and the precautions she would have to take. Addison pretended to listen but instead tried to get her head around the news. _A baby._

" Lets take a look shall we." Tyler said smiling at her.

" Remember this stuffs cold." He said lifting her shirt.

She looked towards the black screen and sees her uterus fill it. Tyler moves around her stomach trying to find the baby. Having not found it right away or after moving across her stomach a few times, Addison begins to panic.

_And the hardest part  
Was letting go not taking part  
Was the hardest part  
And the strangest thing  
Was waiting for that bell to ring  
It was the strangest start

* * *

_

In another room almost identical to the one Addison was in, not too far away lay Meredith grey. She was chatting animatedly with the female doctor who was giving her her scan.

" So now my number one confidant is Derek's wife." The doctor laughs.

" That's a pretty crazy story Meredith."

" Yeah but she's actually helped me a lot, she made me realise this is okay." She said referring to her stomach.

" Well that's great, I think it shows you're both good people to be able to become friends in spite of all that's happened." She turned back to the screen. " Now you're around 13 weeks."

Meredith grinned.

" Wow, I can't believe it, it's amazing."

" Okay so we can see here's the head, the arms, little fingers, legs and feet."

" So 13 weeks, does that sound about right?"

" Umm I guess…"

" Is it Derek's?"

* * *

Addison started to tear up.

" Where is it." She said in a low whiney voice.

" Come on Addie, you know they're just hiding sometimes." He moved a little to the left and smiled as a thumping could now be heard. Addison smiled and let out a sigh, she was worried for nothing, she was a doctor but was already a neurotic mother._ I guess I do want you baby._

" So by the looks of it you're about 8 weeks, does that look right to ya _Dr Montgomery?_" he said teasing her.

Addison smiled more now. _It's definitely Derek's._

" Yeah that looks about right doc, thanks Tyler."

" Of course…but you haven't told Derek yet, have you?"

" You know me too well…"

" It's been written all over your face since you came, the question is why?"

" Things have been complicated recently to say the least." She looked down for a moment.

" But I guess now they're looking up, right?"

_I could feel it go down  
Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth  
Silver lining in the clouds  
Oh and I  
I wish that I could work it out

* * *

_

Meredith walked down the corridor feeling in high sprits; finally she had faced up to her predicament and had seen her baby for the first time. She was scared of being scared but the strange thing was she wasn't scared at all. She was okay and – happy. The only one bad thing that was running in her mind was " Is it Derek's?" Meredith walked further down the corridor and was soon very close to someone who looked like…

Addison walked down the corridor feeling much better than before, her pregnancy now 100% confirmed meant she could figured out her next step. She knew she was having the baby, no way could she have another abortion, it had almost killed her the first time besides how many second chances could one person get? And even without all that she _loved _her baby, she had loved it since the moment she had realised her period was late. Now the only question was " But I guess now they're looking up, right?" walking down the corridor she approached another women, she realised who it was long after she had any chance of escaping. _Great. _Plastering on her best fake smile she continued to walk towards her fate.

" Meredith." She greeted.

" Hey Addie, I hope you're not stalking me." She said teasingly though eyed her a little suspiciously.

" Ha ha, no I was just here for a check-up, an old friend of mine works here. But anyway how was it?" she lied eager to chance the subject, as much as she valued Meredith now, it just wasn't the time to tell her this, though she knew it couldn't stay secret for long.

" It went great, everything's fine." She didn't divulge any more information. She knew Addison would want more not to mention there was no way she could lie, doctors always find out the truth.

" Good." Addison smiled though still lost in her own thoughts.

" Good? Are you feeling all right?"

Addison chuckled.

" Yes Meredith, I'm fine."

Meredith didn't believe her but she was in no position to accuse anyone of anything.

" Good."

Addison pulled out a Twinkie from her bag and started to chomp it down much to the surprise of Meredith. She eyed the women suspiciously once again.

" What?! It's not my fault I've been spending all my time with you these are all _you_ eat." Feigning innocence.

" I'm pregnant."

" You're just jealous that I have one and you don't." she teased her. Meredith pouted a little and Addison waited a few seconds more before reaching into her bag and producing a second, which she gave to Meredith who happily accepted. In literally 2 seconds half of Meredith's was gone.

" I won't question this time as to why you have 2 Twinkies considering you're sharing but next time I may ask why." She looked at the red head but said nothing more on the subject.

_Guess I won't share with her that I have another 2 in my bag and that this isn't exactly my first one today…_

_

* * *

_

Addison stands at the nurses' station flipping through a chart while munching down another Twinkie. Christina and Izzie are standing nearby discussing George and Callie. Meredith walks up to Addison.

" Hey you paged…another Twinkie?" Addison looks up guiltily and does a little half shrug.

Christina and Izzie now watch this interaction.

" You'll make yourself sick." At this moment Addison feels acid in her stomach._ I have to get damn morning sickness right now? _She goes pale.

" I…I think you're right." She throws it in the trash. She takes a deep breath in through her nose, trying to stop feeling sick.

" So you paged?"

" Right, I'm working on a case I need an intern, there might be a surgery?" Addison felt the sickness build and started to feel faint.

" Cool I'm in." Addison started to walk forwards but stopped and wobbled a little grabbing onto the desk for help. She bent her head down and closed her eyes for a second.

" Eww I think she-Shepard's going to puke, I am not cleaning that up." Christina mumbled to Izzie.

Meredith touched Addison's back for support.

" I told you Addison." Meredith said joking.

Addison took more deep breaths as she started to heave a little.

" Okay Addie I was kidding, you can stop now."

Christina and Izzie look at each other confused. " Addie?!" They mouth at one another. Since when were Meredith and Satan on such good terms? Meredith bent down and saw the pained expression on Addison face, clearing seeing she was genuinely ill.

" Okay you need to sit Addie." Addison straightened up.

" I'm fine Meredith lets go." Meredith looked at her sceptically but followed when she started walking away. Izzie and Christina started after the two both confused to what they had just witnessed.

* * *

Walking down the corridor later Addison once again stopped abruptly and clutched the wall for support. She stroked her stomach gently waiting for the feeling to pass.

" Mommy's at work baby, this morning sickness isn't good." She whispered. The feeling subsides a little and she walks down the hall. She sees Dr Bailey and the interns and approached them. Derek also approaches.

" Karev. Dr. Grey, I am clipping a basilar tip aneurysm. Any interest." He sees Addison and pauses to smile.

" Dr Bailey can I get- " Addison sees Mark Sloan shaking hands with the chief.

" Oh my god." Addison again clutches the nearest desk for support, a combination of seeing Mark and pregnancy symptoms. Derek follows her line of vision.

" Oh…my…god."

Meredith also notices.

" Oh my god…"

" Is that?" George begins

" McSteamy." Christina finishes for them all.

Addison throws up on the floor. Meredith and Derek both rush forward to her, everyone else startled.

" Addison..." Derek and Meredith both look to the other frowning and Meredith takes a step back realising it was Derek's place. Addison offers her a small smile.

" You okay?" Derek asks concerned.

" Yeah, I'll be fine, just something I ate."

" Can we get someone to clean this up?" Derek says looking around whilst leading Addison over to the seats.

" You okay to work?"

" Yes just as long as I don't bump into Mark." Derek's face-hardens as he remembers his former best friends presence.

" Yeah me either." He strokes Addison's cheek. " I have a patient…"

" Of course, yeah go." With a final look at Addison he stands up and catches Meredith's eye for a few seconds before heading off, this doesn't go unnoticed by Addison.

" Let's go Grey." Addison barks and Meredith scrambles after her, chalking her tone up to all the events that just happened.

_I could feel it go down  
Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth  
Silver lining in the clouds  
Oh and I  
I wish that I could work it out

* * *

_

Hours later Addison was well and truly ready to go home. Usually at the end of shift she was still able to stay longer if required but not today, her pregnancy had drained her today. The last thing she needed was to talk to Mark Sloan unfortunately he had just cornered her at the stairs. Meredith, Christina and George were all observing both scenes, quite obviously amused.

" You can't do this. You can't be here…especially not now." She said the last part much more quietly so there was less chance of him hearing.

" Sure I can. It was easy. Sublet the apartment. Sold the practice."

" I...I can't deal with you, I feel nauseous."

She walked over to the nurses' station and felt another wave of nausea hit. She put her hand to her forehead. Meredith walks over to her. Christina and George observe this new scene as does mark all clearly intrigued by the other woman and the mistress speaking to one another. Addison rushes to the trashcan and throws up once again.

" Oh my god." She whispers to herself.

" Oh my god, are you pregnant?!" Meredith asks a little too loudly.

Everyone was paying full attention now. Addison looks up for a moment and then throws up again. Mark starts to walk towards her and everyone else looks on gob smacked. Addison stands up and quickly walks away. Meredith chases after her.

" Addie, Addie wait!"

Addison walked into an empty exam room. She took a breath but didn't have time to compose herself as Meredith entered the room before she knew it. Addison didn't look at her. Meredith waited for her to speak when no explanation came she started.

" So I'm guessing the silence means that you are."

" Yes."

" You could have told me, I mean I know you and Derek have sex."

" Could I? Really? How do you think you would have reacted? I mean look at you you're already angry."

" Because you didn't tell me!"

" NO! Because you still love him and because part of you still hopes you might work."

" No." She quietly repeated for reassurance " No."

" I mean god Meredith, this is all such a mess."

" I know."

_Everything I know is wrong  
Everything I do it just comes undone  
And everything is torn apart  
Oh and that's the hardest part  
That's the hardest part  
Yeah, that's the hardest part  
That's the hardest part_

Okay so there you have it, next one will be much more interesting :D, I'm going to work on it ASAP! **REWIEWWSSS please :)**


	10. Glass Houses 1

Okay guys hope you like this one. Its loong, took me forever to write! It was going to be 2 chaps but I just made it one. There will be a part 2 up ASAP. Enjoy :D Don't own Grey's.

Addison walked across the large room, basking in the sunlight shining through the large French doors. The beauty of this room astounded her. She wanted it she had known from the minute she saw it.

" This house is amazing. I'll need to speak to my husband first but I think you've got yourself a deal."

She felt guilty. Derek didn't even know she was pregnant yet and here she was viewing houses behind his back. But she needed to do this; she needed to know she could function by herself because she feeling in her gut wasn't good. _Derek's slipping._ Her hand found her stomach and rested there. This house would be perfect for her child to live in. it had spacious rooms and oak furnishings everywhere, she loved it. There was a huge backyard and it was a nice neighbourhood certainly much more appropriate than a trailer.

* * *

Assembled in Meredith's kitchen was the usual suspect's Izzie cooking, George joking with her, Christina drinking tequila and Alex winding them all up. Meredith stood watching her friends lovingly. They were a happily dysfunctional family. She took a deep breath as small butterflies fluttered in her stomach; she had decided it was time to tell them about the baby. Time to rip the band-aid off. So she had gathered them all for a meal, figuring it would be easier to just tell them all at once. She knew Christina would probably be mad she didn't tell her first but it was now or never. She cleared her throat nervously.

" So Mer what's going on with Satan? Alex asked. Everyone tuned in to this, they had all been wondering since Addison's puking incident the other day.

" How would I know?

" Maybe because you and she-Shepard are all buddy buddy all of a sudden."

" We are not! She's my boss I have to be civil but apart from what patients she has this week I know nothing about her…"

The others didn't seem convinced but when back to their previous conversation about a patient who had been admitted earlier with tree-like grows coming from his hands.

" So um guys…"

Izzie and George were laughing and Christina rolling her eyes but they all looked over expectantly.

" I…have some news." She struggled to find the words.

" Well I uhh..."

" Come on Mer by the time you get it out it won't be news anymore." Christina urged. They all chuckled and awaited her to continue.

" Wait you're not dying are you, cuz I hope we're getting left the house." Alex joked cheekily. Izzie swatted him with a towel.

" Yeah like she'd leave it to you." Izzie replied. " She'd leave it to us." She grinned referring to her and George, this made Alex start bickering with her.

" I'm pregnant." The bickering stopped. As did all movement. Four shocked faces looked back at her and then turned to one another, more shocked looks passing between them.

" Are you happy about it?" Izzie enquired.

Meredith smiled, despite everything she really was.

" Yes."

" Okay good, then I am so happy for you!" Izzie bounced over to her and started hugging her. Meredith laughed enveloped in the hug.

" It's not mine is it?" George asked half joking.

" No George." Meredith chuckled.

" Well in that case…" he came over and joined Izzie in the hugging.

" Its not mine is it?" Alex also asked.

" We haven't even slept together!"

" I know, just wanted to make everyone sweat." He said grinning. He walked over and hugged her also.

" But dude, I am so not into diapers." The four laughed. And turned to Christina expectantly. She had been watching the scene in stunned silence. She slowly walked over to Meredith and the others backed away a bit.

" You really are happy?"

" I am."

Christina wrapped her in a hug. Meredith relaxed into it. She had been most worried about Christina's reaction but this was much better than expected, she had thought it would take a few days for her to accept it.

" Well then congratulations."

" Okay since you can't drink this calls for celebratory cookies!" Izzie said happily and

went about gathering ingredients, ignoring the groans coming from Christina and Alex. They all went back to chatting and Meredith smiled, happy that it had gone so well.

" Wait. Who's the father?!" George asked and everyone stopped realising this information had not been given.

* * *

Meredith stepped into the elevator the next day, feeling unusually happy. She was having a baby and her friends couldn't be more supportive. She had told them that she wasn't sure how she was going to juggle work and a baby and they had all offered their support and said they'd help her work it out. She had been so grateful for this. Just as the elevator doors were about to shut a briefcase stopped them and in walked Derek. Her mcdreamy, looking as dreamy as ever.

" Morning." He greeted.

" Morning." She said happily and went back to her thoughts her smile still clear on her face.

" You're unusually chipper, any particular reason?"

" It's a beautiful day."

" It's raining."

" I know doesn't mean it can't be beautiful."

He frowned a little, wondering what had made her so happy but nodded at her reasoning anyway. He took a moment to observe her. She was looking good. She had put on a little weight but it suited her and there was a certain glow about her._ Maybe she has a new boyfriend._ He shooed the thought away, it annoyed him, the thought of another man touching her. He had thought her was over Meredith. He thought wrong.

" You look good today. You're – you're glowing." He hesitated not sure if he was over stepping the mark by saying it. Meredith smiled she knew why she was glowing. _That old wives tale must be true._

" Thanks." She turned to look at him gazing into his big warm eyes. For a second the world faded away and it felt like it used to. Her eyes travelled down and landed on his lips and for the slightest moment they both thought they might kiss. But then the world came crashing back.

" How's Addison?" Derek looked at her a little confused but went with it.

" Fine. She's fine."

" Good, anything new going on with her?" Meredith enquired, scouring for signs of Addison having told Derek about the baby.

" Umm, I don't think so."

" Okay."

The elevator doors opened and Derek held her gaze for a moment.

" Bye." Meredith walked out.

* * *

Addison was not in a good mood. Her new condition meant she couldn't have her daily coffee fix, which meant she could hardly function. She was once again feeling ill today and this practically destroyed any chance of her functioning. But most importantly Derek still didn't know about the baby. She had been hoping he would have noticed or said something but he hadn't. She knew it wasn't really apparent to the world yet – her clothes were a little more snug but no tell tale bump just yet. But Derek was her husband: he was supposed to notice. He always remembered when her period was due and he knew her body like the back of his hand. She had been experiencing morning sickness before she had even realised her period was late and he hadn't even asked if she was sick never mind pregnant! She sighed. Then there was Meredith, they hadn't spoken since the other day and hadn't left things on the best of terms. She knew she should speak to her, try and patch it up as she had become awfully attached to the other woman but she was too frustrated at the moment. She needed an intern for today and couldn't deal with it being Meredith. She saw Karev up ahead being his usual assey self. She smiled wickedly, knowing she would enjoy bossing his ass around all day. She got nearer to him.

" Karev!" she barked. " You're working with me today." She turned on her heel and walked down the hall; happy at the fact he would be trailing behind her with his tail between his legs.

* * *

Addison looked at Alex with pure rage. He smirked, sick of her constant pissy attitude all day. He knew she wasn't really annoyed at him but he wasn't going to just let her off.

" Look- " he interrupted her rant. " I know you're knocked up and everything but you really should keep you're hormones in check at work." She narrowed her eyes at him. This was just great more of her dirty laundry for the hospital staff to gossip about.

" I'll go get those labs." He smiled cheekily and her face pained a little. As he walked away he started to feel guilty, he shouldn't have annoyed her more.

* * *

Later Addison stood alone in her newborn patients room. She was a tiny little thing, in an incubator till she got bigger, fighting her own little fight to stay alive. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as her hormones went into overdrive and her maternal instincts kicked in. She so badly wanted the small baby to make it. She thought of her husband and felt warm inside. She still loved him so very much. She prayed he would be happy about this baby, this baby that she had wanted for so long. She knew he would say he was happy and hug her and talk about all the things he would do with the baby. Because that's who Derek was, a good guy. But she feared was what he wouldn't say. That he didn't want a baby, at least not with an adulterous bitch like her. She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. She had to stop thinking like this, she had to just tell him and see what would happen. Alex walked past the baby's room and saw Addison next to her incubator. He thought about walking away but something made him walk into the room. He silently opened the door and stepped him. He heard her sniff and realised she was crying. He stood rooted to the spot unaware of what to do. Then he was reaching out and laying his hand softly on her back. She got a fright and froze and he bent forward a little to see her face, his own filled with genuine concern. She looked down and frantically wiped her face – hating anyone to see her cry.

" Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He said softly and very quietly.

" Yeah right, there's nothing you interns love more than to gossip about my sad excuse for a life."

His face sadden more so.

" I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have said what I said. I just find it difficult when people are upset and generally say jerky things but I honestly didn't mean it."

She contemplated what he said for a moment. _Huh who knew Karev had feelings?_ This wasn't strictly true, she had noticed through working with him that he did have a good heart; he just had a foul mouth.

" Apology accepted." And she sniffed a little more. She realised his hand was still on her back, she didn't shrug him off, it was warm and this comforted her.

" So what's bothering you?"

" Nothing really, I'm fine, you should just go home." She turned back to the baby and more tears fell against her will. He gripped her chin with his fingers and turned her around to face him. She sighed.

" I'm not going anywhere." He searched her face, his eyes seeming to go right into her soul.

" Its that husband of yours right? He doesn't deserve you." She looked up at him.

" He hasn't noticed that I'm pregnant, I just want him to notice."

" I don't know how he couldn't have, you've never looked more beautiful." Her heart started to beat faster; it had felt like a lifetime since anyone had called her beautiful. His hand cupped her cheek and her heart rattled around her chest. She had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. She closed her eyes and rubbed her cheek against his hand.

" You should go." She whispered.

* * *

Meredith walked the halls, still very happy. This was a record for her. She took out her cell and dialled Finn's number. She had dated him after Derek but had broken it with him, only having called him a couple of weeks ago to start things up again. She hadn't exactly filled him in on her knew condition yet, though thought he was starting to catch on. But for now she had a prom to invite him to. The line clicked as he answered the phone.

" Hey beautiful."

" Will you go to the prom with me?"

* * *

Addison stood by the surgery board, wondering when best to fit her patient's c-section in. Derek walked up behind her and whispered him her ear " Will you go to the prom with me?" she turned to face him and grinned.

" Mm that depends are you just trying to get lucky?" She leaned in and kissed him on the lips._ I'll tell him at prom._ What a cliché.

* * *

Meredith spotted the person she was looking for and cautiously walked towards her. Addison was scribbling away on her chart.

" Wanna go prom dress shopping?" she asked hopefully, a sheepish look on her face. Addison looked up at her.

" I'm sorry about everything." She paused searching Addison's face for any signs of forgiveness. " Truce?"

* * *

Derek couldn't breathe. Meredith strutted down the steps towards the prom and simply took his breath away. She looked up and caught his eye for a moment, before looking away to continue down the stairs. Addison approached him with a drink and he was pleasantly surprised. There was no denying his wife was beautiful but she looked stunning this evening.

" Thanks. You look…"

" Fat? Geeky, nerdy…"

" You certainly do not look fat. You're stunning" He slid a hand across her stomach and melted she at his touch. He was touching their baby, except he just didn't know that yet.

" Though maybe a little nerdy…" he said as he leaned into her mouth for a kiss. She laughed.

" Shut up." This was certainly looking to be a better night than her high school prom.

" Derek." She started.

" You wanna dance?" He cut her off, smiling down at her dreamily.

" Yeah." He led her off to the dance floor. " So how do you feel about Star Wars?" He joked with her referring to the story of her own prom

Meredith had entered the prom to a drooling Finn. Drooling no doubt because of her new pregnancy boobs. Not that she was complaining. She liked the new assets; she may as well enjoy them before her stomach expanded so much he couldn't see her feet and her breasts were changed forever. Finn had led her onto the dance floor and they happily slow danced.

Meredith and Derek found each other's eyes through the crowd and held their gaze for what seemed like the longest time. A thousand words silently passed between them. They both made their excuses to their spouses and tore away from the dance floor. They both promised to be right back.

Meredith ran down the hall. Derek followed.

" Meredith!" he called.

She ran into an empty exam room.

" Stop looking at me! I can't have you looking at me like that Finn has plans! And I like him and you have a wife!"

" Don't you think I know that?"

He edged closer to her. They were almost touching.

" Addison needs you right now."

He leapt forward and started kissing her. She just stood shocked for a second. _No!_ Her mind screamed. She needed to stop this, to end this kiss. Then she was kissing him back and he was touching her everywhere and she was powerless to stop him. Her hands were in his hair as he kissed her neck. Then he was pulling down her panties and it didn't even register in her brain. She wanted this. She couldn't breathe it felt so right. His hand travelled up her thigh and a light bulb went on. She had to stop this now.

" Derek." She breathed. " Stop…no stop." He continued to kiss her. She knew what he was going to do next; she couldn't let that happen.

" Please. Stop!" she said it more forcefully now and he knew she meant it.

She jumped off the bed and ran her hand through her hair.

" You need to go back to Addison now and pretend this never happened." She walked out of the room. Callie saw this and wondered what Meredith had been doing in there. A few minutes later Derek followed. It all became clear Meredith had been doing McDreamy.

Meredith walked back into the prom a little flustered, looking for Finn. She spotted him with Addison and grumbled at the fact that fate really hated her. She walked over to them and plastered a fake smile on her face.

" Hey." She greeted. Addison smiled at her.

" Feeling better?" Finn enquired.

" Yeah much."

Derek started making his way towards them.

" Everything all right?" Addison enquired for herself, going into doctor mode. Meredith was grateful for Addison being distracted by that rather than getting suspicious at her and Derek both being away.

" Everything's great. She smiled.

" Lets go get some punch." She said to Finn. " Enjoy your evening." She said to Addison unable to look at Derek, leading Finn away.

" Everything okay with your patient?"

" Yep, fine."

" Honey, there's something I have to tell you."

" Honey? It must be serious." He smiled jokingly.

" I'm pregnant."

Derek looked shocked. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Addison gazed at him worriedly.

" Wow…" he couldn't function; he hadn't been expecting this. He used all his strength to muster a smile.

" This is great darling." He kissed her and then wrapped her in a huge hug. She relaxed and smiled, this had gone well. She was so relieved. Derek hugged her for a long time; he never knew it was possible to feel this guilty. He gulped. This was going to be a long night.

Okay so there is part 1 :D part 2 is the remainder of prom. Thoughts?? I know there was a lot of almosts lol that probs left you like What?!. Don't worry Alex was just there to make Addison feel better, no Addex. I didn't include a song this time as I thought there was enough reading :P. Review please!


	11. Glass Houses 2

Okay guys thanks for the reviews. This one's shorter than I orginally intended. I think I know what sex each baby is going to be but I can't tell you that yet (hehe) but I would like name suggestions for both women, ones that we think they charaters would pick :D Oh and stick with it guys, whoever you're shipping for - have faith! ;)

Addison sat at the table alone. She begrudged the fact she couldn't drink, as she felt pretty pathetic sitting here alone at prom. Not too long ago she had felt happy by Derek's reaction to her news but it had been short lived since he was paged and left a little too eagerly. Still what could a girl expect right? Telling her date she was pregnant at prom, it was all a little too high school for her liking. Sighing she looked at her hands. She hadn't noticed the men that had been watching from a far and certainly didn't notice when one approached. She looked up startled when someone cleared their throat. Alex's eyes bored into her and he smiled down at her.

" You wanna dance?"

" What?"

" It would be a shame to waste such a hot dress."

He held out a hand to her as she gazed up at him which she accepted and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor. He pulled her in close and held her waist. He was a good dancer; this surprised her. Coming from a wealthy family, Addison had been taught how to ballroom dance from a very young age and appreciated when men could do it properly.

" You're a good dancer." She stated smiling at him.

" Don't tell anyone." He whispered into her ear, smirking. This sent shivers down her spine. " Why isn't Derek the one dancing with you?"

She shrugged. " I don't know…" he continued looking at her obviously waiting for her to continue. She sighed. " I told him I was pregnant and he got paged…and couldn't get away fast enough."

" Guys an ass…"

" He's also my husband."

_Everybody need inspiration,  
Everybody needs a soul  
The beautiful melody  
When the nights alone_

Neither of them noticed the other man approaching until he was right next to them.

" Can I cut in?" Mark asked starring at Addison – tell her he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Alex looked at Addison for confirmation.

" It's alright Alex." He looked a little disappointed. " We'll talk later?" she asked.

" Sure." She smiled at him silently thanking him. He glared at mark before reluctantly walking away. She cautiously held the other man, knowing she was often powerless to resist him.

" Are you pregnant?" The man wasted no time. She figured there was no point lying.

" Yes."

" Its Derek's?"

" Yeah."

" He knows?"

" Yeah."

" Then where is he?" she looked away, she hated the thought of mark speaking ill of Derek, her Derek but she guessed whatever he was going to say would be right.

" I only just told him, he has a right to take a little time to process."

" He already knew."

" No he didn't."

" Everyone else did." She just looks at him. " You don't deserve this Addie."

" Don't I?"

" No…you're having the guys kid he should be here comforting you, telling you things, making you laugh…in spite of everything"

" How do you know he won't be doing that?"

" Because you put too much faith in him, he's not perfect. And when he lets you down I'm going to be there to catch you." He looked at her for a long moment as the song ended.

" You know where to find me, time to start looking after number one…or at least one of you" He whispered his eyes gesturing down to her stomach, referring to the baby inside her and walked off, leaving the prom. She stared after him, with tears in her eyes, part of her wanting to follow him. She cursed him for saying things like that to her, for making her weak at the knees with one look, for making her doubt her love for Derek.

_When I look at you I see forgiveness  
I see the truth you love me for who I am  
Like the stars hold the moon  
Right there where they belong  
And I know I'm not alone._

She walked back to the table and put on Derek's jacket and then exiting the party the same way mark had a few seconds previously.

* * *

Meredith and Finn walked along the empty dock. It was pitch black but the streetlights lit it up beautifully. She laughed as Finn made another joke. This all felt so natural to her, they'd had a great evening – she wondered why she had ever broken up with him. Then she remembered the events earlier and thought _that's why. _

" Finn, I have something to tell you."

" Okay."

" I need you to promise you won't freak out because I really like you and you have plans and I'm not perfect-"

" Okay Meredith I won't freak out if you get to the point." He said grinning.

" I'm pregnant." She swallowed and looked down.

" Is it mine?"

" It could be…there's a strong chance it is."

He looked down.

" Okay." He said slowly.

" Okay?" she said hopeful

He nodded.

" Its not the perfect situation but like you said I have plans." He smiled. " We can deal with this." Meredith grinned and kissed him.

_When the waves  
are flooding the shore and I can't  
find my way home anymore  
that's when I... I I look at you...._

* * *

Addison sat down on the bed and pulled off her shoes and dress. She laid her dress down and picked up Derek's suit jacket. Going into the pocket, she found something totally unexpected. These certainly weren't hers. _Meredith._ Tears rolled down her cheeks as pain set in. But then mark's words ran through her head. _' Time to start looking after number one'. _She took out her cell and dialled a number.

" Mrs Jenkins? Hi, it's Addison Shepard, I know it's late…I'll take the house."

Thoughts???


	12. Addie's Day Out

.com/watch?v=KCxwdhj8Hu4&feature=related How cute is this scene! **Derek and Meredith didn't actually sleep together; Meredith stopped him just in time. But Addison found her underwear so she thinks they did. This chapters a little different but I'm happy with the outcome, enjoy!  
**

Addison awoke to the sunlight peaking through the curtains. She lay happily in the giant bed, feeling relaxed and well rested. She affectionately rubbed her rounding stomach, relieved to be free of stress this morning so her baby could spend time growing arms and legs rather than dealing with its mother's insane stress levels. This was one of those peaceful moments she wished would last forever. Like when her and Derek had first met and she was just so intrigued by this handsome stranger. Or on her wedding day – the supposed happiest day of a person's life, when she felt so blessed to become Mrs Addison Shepard. Unfortunately she knew the world was still out there but for the next few days at least she could pretend it wasn't as she had called Richard the night before and asked for time off. She had packed a bag, checked into Seattle's most expensive hotel, using her husband's credit card no less, requesting their most expensive suite. She had turned her phones off and planned to do - well whatever she damn well pleased.

Slipping out of bed she went into the bathroom and entered the warm shower. She took a long time in there, the shower in the trailer was a shoebox, but she hoped this shower would wash away all her sins and all her pain. A while later, she exited the shower and looked into the large mirrors. She inspected her body in more detail now and was happy with the results of being 9 weeks pregnant. She was certainly more curvaceous; which she couldn't complain about, she was hot!

Getting dressed she chose a figure hugging dress in order to milk this before she had to start buying clothes with elasticised waistbands! She chose a pair of sky-high Jimmy Choos to wear that complimented her outfit perfectly.

Exiting the elevator 15 minutes later she smirked to herself as heads turned to watch her. This was something she had been used to throughout her life, not oblivious to the fact she was tall and good-looking. She headed towards the restraint where she experienced more men drooling at her and women looking on enviously. She was seated at a nice table and began studying the menu, now ravenous. She could really go a Twinkie, damn Meredith for getting her addicted. A tall figure approached her and cast a shadow over the table; she assumed it was the waiter.

" I knew you couldn't resist me." Addison laughed and looked up into the familiar eyes of Mark Sloan.

" What no sarky comeback? Someone's in a good mood." She went back to studying her menu, smiling.

" Still with a body like that who could complain?" He continued, eyeing her from head to toe and she looked up to see him do this – he was clearly satisfied by what he saw.

" Why aren't you at the hospital?" She enquired.

" Took a personal day." She laughed; he probably had a woman lined up.

" What about you?"

" Not today." Her smile faltered a little and he decided not to press the matter further, sensing something had happened. He nodded and decided to leave her to it figuring the last thing she needed was him annoying her.

" Well enjoy your breakfast." He offered a small, genuine smile and backed away.

" Care to join me for breakfast?" She surprised herself by asking this but he had seemed to genuinely take her feelings into consideration when he walked away that she couldn't resist asking. He turned back surprised and sat down.

" What'll it be gorgeous?"

" Mm I'm feeling the pancakes." He chuckled happily, he liked the side this pregnancy had brought out in her, the old Addison would probably have ordered coffee. He signalled the waiter who instantly appeared and ordered Addison's pancakes requesting chocolate chip.

" Thanks Daisy." He said to the young girl who giggled and walked off. Addison smiled as despite everything; she enjoyed how everyone fell at Mark's feet. Addison's pancakes came and she wolfed them down, much to Mark's amusement. She told Mark about what had happened at prom, she didn't know why but she did. She could see he was pissed off but instead of flying off the handle and screaming about Derek he put his energy into comforting her. As the waitress came with the bill Addison stopped Mark as he went to pay.

" Charge it to the card on file please." Mark looked at her like she was crazy. Addison paying for a meal, she was a changed woman!

" Thanks." He said.

" Oh don't thank me, thank Derek." She replied coolly, smirking once again. Mark laughed.

" You're bad." He joked.

" You would know." She winked at him. He rose from the table and began to pull her up.

" Okay just because we had breakfast does not mean I am sleeping with you."

" Hard as it may be to believe that's not what I had in mind. Come on." She smiled as she let him lead her off.

* * *

" Wow I can't believe you found this." She said gazing through the viewfinder.

" Yeah well I guess some of your habits rubbed off. It's a pretty amazing view huh?"

" Mm." she said concentrating on looking. Mark laughed, god he loved her. _But she loves Derek. _

Halfan hour later Addison laughed as mark picked up another dress.

" What about this one?" He said with child like eyes.

" Mark what's the point in buying little pink dresses when I don't even know the sex of the baby?"

" I told ya, I've got a feeling." He said winking at her. She laughed shaking her head.

" Well I'm buying it and we'll see in a few months who was right." He went to the cash register and paid.

" You didn't have to do that." She said accepting the gift.

" What are friends for?"

" Have we ever just been friends?"

" Come on, you know we were at the beginning…" She gave him a look that said ' yeah _right _'. He chuckled as she touched little hats, absorbed in her own little world.

His pager went off and he sighed. She turned to him with a small understanding smile. He looked sheepish.

" Doctors." She said with a shrug. He hugged her.

" Chin up." He said teasingly. " Have fun, make sure to spend lots of Derek's money."

She laughed.

" Sure thing, _friend_."

He walked off and she continued to look around the shop thinking about meeting this new little person.

" Excuse me." She looked up into the most beautiful chocolate eyes. " I was wondering if you could help me?" He held up two young girls outfits. She smiled.

" Sure. For your daughter?"

" Niece. She's turning 7 and I have no idea what she'd like." He smiled.

" Okay well…" She contemplated the two outfits and did some swapping. " These two will go best." She smiled.

" Wow that was good, you really were the best woman for the job." He grinned.

" I'm Connor." He said extending his hand.

" Addison." She said taking his hand. It was firm; she loved a strong hand. He smiled down at her.

" What do you say I buy you a coffee to say thanks?" She hesitated – she knew she shouldn't but something about him just drew her to him. He sensed her hesitation.

" Just a thank you." He affirmed. _What the hell_. She thought, soon she'd have a baby to take care of, may as well take advantage of a coffee invite, hell Derek was sleeping with another woman, she was well within her right.

" Okay." She smiled.

* * *

She laughed hard. This guy was hilarious. She couldn't believe how much they had clicked in such a short time. _He's dreamy_. Did she really just think that?

" What do you do?" She asked.

" I'm an architect." He smiled.

" Oh wow, that's interesting."

" Yeah, its amazing I love it. There's nothing like designing someone's dream home. Watching it turn from bricks and cement into their dream. And knowing that they're gonna be happy there."

She stared at him intently, captivated by how much he cared about his work. He looked down embarrassed.

" Boy do I sound lame."

" No. I actually find it refreshing." She bit her lip. God she was drooling all over him. He looked into her eyes for a long moment and she actually felt weak at the knees. _Get a grip Addison; you're behaving like a schoolgirl. _

" What do you do?"

" I'm a neonatal surgeon." He looked impressed.

" Wow." He grinned. She smiled back.

" Yeah. People often underestimate me, thinking I'm just an OBGYN but I'm actually one of the best in the world at my job." He smiled.

" That doesn't surprise me." She looked at him. " I just mean you look like someone who knows what they want and goes and gets it." She laughed.

" And the funny thing is, lately that couldn't be further from the truth."

She remembered something. " You know I actually just bought a house, I'm thinking about making some changes to the layout, maybe you could take a look for me?"

" I'd love to."

Connor paid the bill and they exchanged numbers.

" We should do this again sometime."

" Definitely." She stared into his beautiful eyes once again. " Call me."

He picked up her hand and kissed it, sending shivers down her spine.

" Goodbye beautiful." And he turned and walked away. She started to walk away also; smitten with this intriguing stranger and slightly disappointed the coffee was over. Her cell started to ring.

" So I didn't know how long to wait before I called." She laughed and they started chatting as if it was completely normal for them both.

* * *

Derek had been going out of his mind. _Where is she?!_ He knew she wasn't lying dead in a ditch somewhere but he was still distraught all the same that his now _pregnant _wife was 'missing'. He knew she was pissed. He hadn't exactly handled the news perfectly but there was no need for her to take off without even telling him where she was going. He needed to tell her he was sorry, and that he loved her and the baby. He knew things had been difficult lately. He knew their relationship was strained but he did still love her, she was still his wife.

He sighed. There was still Meredith. The only crime she had committed was falling in love with a single guy, a guy that just happened to be not so single. If only he had been straight with her from the beginning, maybe all this heartache could have been prevented. But when he met Meredith, he wanted to _forget_ Addison, forget the image of his best friend lying on top of his wife, of his hands all over his wife's beautiful body, of his wife's hands- nails digging into his friends back. He wanted to forget her crying hysterically and begging him not to go. Of her saying they would never get past it if he left. Of her standing out in the freezing New York night, in the pouring rain screaming for forgiveness.

He shouldn't have left that night, he shouldn't have left Meredith blindsided and he shouldn't have neglected Addison to the point of her sleeping with Mark just for attention. He knew she would never have done it if she had known he would have just left. He knew she had expected him to be livid, to be disgusted but had thought he would get past it, they would get past it. He knew he shouldn't be sitting here, feel sorry for himself reliving all this- but he was. This was what happened with he wasn't with Addison or even when he wasn't with a woman. He dialled her number again which as expected went to voicemail.

" Addison-" he sighed. " I know you're mad and I know you can say that I just left you and you are perfectly within your right to do the same. But…I'm hoping you'll be the bigger person and at least call me so we can just talk. I know I've reached stalker status right about now but I'm worried about you. Please just call."

He hung up and flopped onto the bed. What was he going to do?

* * *

Addison walked into her hotel room satisfied. She loved the luxury of this compared to the stupid trailer. She kicked her heels off and slid out of her dress. She'd had the best day. Mark had actually proven to be capable of being a friend and she had met a handsome stranger. Finally a good day. She hesitantly turned on her cell to find as expected, a lot of messages. Twenty to be precise. Deciding against listening to them she turned it back off. She didn't want to ruin an otherwise nice day. She lay back on her large pillows and flicked on the TV whilst scanning the room service menu.

Thoughts???? Oh and seriously guys I have no idea what to name the babies Lol.


	13. Merely Humble

Leona good observation, I had forgotten that Addie had turned her cell off Lol, so that was a little mistake on my part :P. Connor is just someone to make Addison's men jealous haha but I had planned to write him in before I decided to make Mark nice last chapter. As for what he looks like I'm going for Gerard Butler cos he's my dream guy atm! I think Mer will have a chapter like Addies soon.

Derek and Meredith sat on the bench gazing out into the Seattle forestry. This was their special place, their place where everything felt better. Sure it was freezing and damp but Meredith was a dark and twisty soul so the rainy climate of Seattle was fitting for her. And Derek fitted Meredith so this hence fitted him too. This used to be where they came to be 'friends', behind his wife's back although it was pretty much so they could have an emotional affair. They both sat numbly. Doc was running around happily.

" So you've still not spoken to her." Derek looked down, upset, not even being able to answer.

" I'm sorry." She says.

" It's not your fault, hell she probably blames you but it's not at all your fault. This is all on me."

" But I mean you can't even be sure she does know about prom."

" Meredith come on, don't play dumb. Addison has been gone for days without a word. She had my jacket that night with your underwear was init. Now it's not, of course she knows." He sighed. " Or at least she thinks she knows. She's never going to believe we didn't have sex."

Meredith looked distraught also. She felt terrible; Addison had been so good to her. And now she had screwed it all up. They both had.

They sat in silence for a long time. Derek put his hand on top of Meredith. She stared down at it. It was warm but she still felt dumb.

" What about." He paused. She sensed what he was going to say.

" Don't."

" Meredith."

" No Derek. Just no. Addison is having your baby. She's your wife. You need to spend all your time grovelling for forgiveness. Not thinking about me. Or my baby…now my baby's just mine."

" What so you want the baby to be fatherless? Even after everything that happened with your dad?"

" And the alternative is better? My baby daddy with a pregnant wife? I don't want my kid to feel like the ashamed bastard child!"

He sighed. " It wouldn't be like that..."

" Oh and what would it be like? We would all be one big happy family? Get your head out of the clouds! Addison hates us." She takes a breath to calm herself and starts more softly. " You need to go to her. You need to work this out."

Doc pops up from some trees and runs over excitedly. Meredith scratches his head. She gets up and starts to walk away.

" I love you." She stops moving. She turns her head back a little but doesn't look at him.

" I love you too." She says barely above a whisper. A single tear rolls down her cheek. But they both loved Addison too, she had such a good heart and they had burned her unfairly.

* * *

The next day in the halls of Seattle grace, Derek spotted his target and cornered her. Callie looked away, knowing what he wanted.

" Where is she?" he asked.

" If you don't know she doesn't want you to."

" She's my wife."

" Then you should know where to find her. I'm not telling you, you've treated her terribly. Stupid guys always thinking with their pants."

" Look I didn't sleep with Meredith, I know she thinks I did but I didn't."

" I saw you coming out of that exam room. Maybe you didn't actually have sex with Meredith but you certainly weren't being faithful to your wife."

" She wasn't exactly faithful to me."

" But she's been here everyday trying to make up for it since and you, you just keep on crushing her."

He looks guilty.

" I know…but how am I ever going to make it right if I don't know where she is."

" I can't tell you."

She begins to walk away.

" Check your credit card bill." She says without turning back.

* * *

Addison listened intently to this wonderful man. They were walking around her new house discussing how to turn it into a home. Her home. She loved how passionate he was about his job; he really was made to be an architect. He started talking about a fireplace.

Addison and Derek lay in front of the warm fireplace. They were naked apart from the blanket covering them. Derek was holding his head up with his hand and was staring down at her. The fire cast a pretty orange hue over his face.

" _This has been the best Christmas ever." She smiled._

" _What even though I got you a gift you didn't want and it's so cold outside we can't leave the house?"_

_She laughed._

" _Derek I love you, I would want any gift you give me…and you are the worst gift giver ever so its something I can get used to." They both laughed._

" _I'm not the worst gift giver ever…right?" she laughed again, not bothering to answer forcing him to start tickling her._

" _Okay okay stop." She said breathless._

" _This has just been so perfect. Being stuck in here all day. None of our crazy families antics."_

" _Soon we'll be able to create our own crazy family antics." He smiled and kissed her._

" _Soon huh? You know something I don't?"_

" _I know that you are going to be the most amazing mother and that I can't wait to make lots of babies with you."_

_She bit her lip._

" _We may already have." _

_He looked confused but smiled._

" _What do you mean?"_

" _I'm late."_

" _This…this is the best Christmas." He started tickling her more and kissing her. She giggled._

" _I love you so much." He whispered into her hair._

Addison sighed as Connor moved onto a new idea and she was brought back to reality. He started talking about ideas for the garden and Addison was sent back to another memory.

Her, Derek and Mark were sitting in the large back yard of her parents beautiful country house. They were laughing talking about an incident with a patient of Derek's. They were taking a rare day off from the busy schedule of running their respective practices. Derek's pager chose to go off in the middle of the story and he looked up apologetically. Addison's heart sank. They spent so little time together these days. He got up and kissed her cheek.

" _I'm sorry." And he was gone._

_Mark looked across at her, knowing she was annoyed. Mark put a hand on top of hers._

" _Its been seven years, you think I'd be used to it by now."_

" _You shouldn't have to be. He works too much. He promised you so much and then forgot to follow through." She looked down. He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and made her look him in the eye._

" _I know I'd never forget to give you the world." She eyed his lips. They looked so soft. It had been so long since Derek had looked at her the way Mark was looking at her now. Mark inched the tiniest bit closer to her. She did they same. They both slowly kept doing this till their lips were as close as they could be without touching. She looked into his eyes and her breath caught in her chest. She wanted him. Some raindrops started to fall and she came out of her moment of insanity. She pulled back._

" _We better get inside. It's going to pour." _

_What almost just happened? That's Derek's partner and oldest friend._

They walked into the kitchen and discussed how it should be laid out. She leaned against the counter.

She was sitting in her kitchen in brownstone. This was a rare occurrence since she didn't cook and her and Derek were barely home anymore. She sipped her wine. She heard the front door open and close her a second later her husband appeared.

" _Hey." He kissed her head._

" _Hi." She said quietly without looking up._

" _What's wrong?"_

" _Nothing." She replied still not looking at him. He sensed she was unhappy with him. _

_He sat down next to her._

" _Listen I know I've not been round much lately but it's just because of these big cases. As soon as there over it'll get better." She felt the tiniest surge of hope but quickly swatted it away and gave him no response._

" _Maybe we could even go on vacation? You know take a few weeks sun, sea, sex?" she smiled hoping so badly._

" _Sounds good, I'll look at places?"_

" _Yeah definitely. We can go soon just after these patients surgeries. Promise." Her heart sank back into her chest. Her broken marriage was based on 'promises'. There wasn't a hope in hell now._

The two continued through to other rooms.

" So you know what you wanna do?"

Oh yeah she knew. And she knew sadly that it didn't involve him. He really was a great guy. He'd be perfect for her, if only they'd met under different circumstances. She wasn't about to ruin him with her crazy life. Besides this trip down memory lane had opened her eyes. She had unfinished business.

* * *

She finished packing the last of her clothes into her suitcase. She was going to miss having 24-hour room service. She left the room and went into the elevator, getting off a few floors down. She knocked on the desired door. Mark Sloan opened it and looked at her surprised.

" So we're friends?"

He nodded. " Yeah."

" Fancy helping a pregnant woman move house?"

Five minutes later she and Mark were stepping into the elevator.

* * *

Down in the lobby, Derek was also entering an elevator. After 10 minutes of arguing with the receptionist to get Addison's room number, it was policy not to give it out, he had finally gotten it and raced to the elevator. He fidgeted in anticipation during the ride up. It couldn't move any slower. The doors opened and he ran out. He found the room and chapped the door. After a few moments of no sound from inside the room, he began banging more loudly. After calling out her name repeatedly, he resigned to the fact that she was not there.

Riding back down to the lobby and went back to reception, much to the receptionists obvious dismay.

" She wasn't there, do you have any idea where she might be?"

" No. I'm afraid Mrs Shepard has just checked out. She did leave a very generous tip, she said it was on her husband – or should I say you?" She smirked, enjoying informing him of this after him being so rude before. Derek's heart raced, she must be going home! He nodded in response to the woman and turned to leave.

" There was another thing." He turned back, hopeful for a sign. " She wasn't alone – she had another gentleman with her."

Derek turned and started to walk away. He shouldn't be surprised. Addison didn't do anything in halves. He got a lump in his throat as reality set in.

* * *

" Addie this place is awesome. Very…you." She chuckled.

" Thanks."

Mark picked up a note from the counter. " Who's Connor?"

" A guy I met." He raised his eyebrows at her.

" This is the part where I would say I didn't know you were on the market however since we're friends and all I'd have to say moving house without your husbands knowledge hell buying a house without your husband knowledge isn't right. Let alone meeting guys…"

" What and my husband screwing around at prom is right? And as for meeting guys, you're just jealous it wasn't you." She said getting a little ratty.

" You are so hot when you're mad." She narrowed her eyes at him in mock annoyance but was soon smiling.

She sighed, " Come on let me show you the rest of the house."

* * *

Derek arrived back home to an empty trailer, a little disheartened to find Addison not there – even though he knew she wouldn't be.

His eyes fell onto a picture of them. It was taken years ago, they looked so deliriously happy. He looked at his wife's beautiful face, feeling blue. Mostly he felt worried though. She was now officially god knows where doing god knows what and most importantly, with god knows _who_. And to top it all off she was carrying his child, a child that he knew nothing about since he hadn't spoken to his wife. _Please god_, he silently prayed, _I know I've hurt her but I need a chance to make it right_.

His cell started ringing. He whipped it out as fast as he could.

" Addison called. She coming back to work tomorrow." The voice of the chief boomed down the phone.

God had thrown him a bone.

I know Merediths not been init much but she will be soon ;) Hope you liked the flashbacks, was going to do more but didnt. Think ill have more in other chapters though. **REVIEW PLEASE :)**


	14. Dirty Laundry

Okay so I just want to say thanks to all my readers, I know who you guys are. I don't get why people leave bad reviews, if you don't like a story just look for one you do like, that's what I do. I hope you like this chapter. **The first flashback takes place when MerDer were together last chapter, the place where they walk Doc, just so we're clear ;) And it has been about 2 weeks since the scans making Meredith 15/16 wks and Addison 10/11 weeks. **I can't wait for you to see the new stuff that's coming up! If I make Mer seem pathetic, I certainly don't mean too and I definetly don't do it to make Addison look better. And to everyone who's bashing this for being Addek there hasn't even been any proper Addek init. Hello Addison's not even spoken to him for 2 chaps!But w/e mini-rant over.

* * *

Addison's heels clicked on the freshly polished floors. She had ensured she looked hot as hell, this was going to be a hard day she may as well look good. It was early – she knew Derek would be on her as soon as he arrived so she had gotten there early to avoid bumping into him on her way in and to give her time to get familiar with her new patients.

" Good to have you back Addie, this place isn't the same without you." Richard Webber greeted her, whilst approaching her. She gave him a hug and smiled.

" You look good." He continued.

" I feel good." She smiled. _It won't last long_.

" Okay lets go get you introduce to your new patients."

* * *

Meredith walked down the stairs sleepily, rubbing her stomach. As expected her roommates were already up, causing a ruckus and attempting to make breakfast. She smiled at this lovingly; she really did love her weird surrogate family. They had been so supportive lately with the pregnancy, making sure she was okay and suggesting strategies of how she'll balance her internship and a baby. She entered the kitchen.

" Morning Mommy!" Izzie bellowed happily. Meredith chuckled.

" Hey Izz, smells good in here."

Meredith sat down and instantly a plate appeared in front of her. She looked up in slight awe. She really didn't know how Izzie had enough energy to be – well to be Izzie.

" Izzie you really don't have to make me breakfast everyday…"

" Well I make it anyway and it's the only way I can be sure you're actually eating. If I left it up to you you'd probably forget."

" She has a point." Alex agreed whilst munching.

" Well that may have been true before but this baby likes its food, there's no way I could get away with skipping a meal."

" We need to know the sex already so we can stop saying "it"." George says.

" Yeah you'll probably be able to see the sex by now and the baby will be moving around so you'll feel it pretty soon! It's the most awesome feeling…" Izzie begins to reminisce about her own child.

Meredith and Alex look at her a little confused, unaware of the fact that Izzie has mothered a child.

" Well that's what you assume anyways huh Izz?" George covers for her. Izzie looks up, brought out of her daydream and realises the others were looking at her.

" Yeah, right." She clears her throat and turns back to the stove.

The four car-pool together. On the way they discuss patients, hospital gossip and the groups forthcoming arrival: the baby. Meredith was happy at the fact her friends had accepted the situation so well and that they considered it "their" baby and not just Meredith's snotty nosed illegitimate mistake. They all talked about the baby and what they were going to do with him/her. Meredith had actually been really happy the past few weeks, everyone at work had also been supportive and were all happy for her. She guessed Addison not being at work had also helped, although she had missed the woman. Meredith had become attached to her new friend, though if they were still friends was yet to be determined. She felt guilty, Addison was pregnant, just like her and under the impression her husband had slept with someone else. She knew Addison must be terribly hurt. But she had pushed this into a dark corner of her mind, this happiness of the last few weeks was a rare occurrence and she knew when Addison returned to work and her life she would no longer be able to ignore it. So for now she was simply enjoying her life.

They arrived at Seattle Grace, to find their friend Christina Yang also just arriving. They got out of the car.

" Hey." Meredith greeted.

" Hey incubator." Christina replied. The others sniggered.

" Yeah that's definitely better than Mommy." Alex stated. They all headed towards the hospital, all eagerly hoping an interesting surgery would arise.

* * *

A while later the four stood at the nurses station, discussing a new patient and flipping through the chart. Addison Shepard walked out of the elevator and took a deep breath preparing herself as Bailey had paged her. Which meant she was about to see the interns, who all knew of her pregnancy and no doubt the events of prom considering they were Meredith Grey's people. She walked down the hall, with her head held high.

It was Alex who spotted her first, and hurriedly nudged the others.

" Satan's approaching fast!" He hissed. Meredith heart sank into her chest. She felt slightly faint as she drew her eyes up to the woman approaching. The very hormonal woman who right now had every reason to hate her. She needed to apologise, to explain everything, to get Addison back. But Meredith couldn't move. She dumbly watched Addison approach.

" Dr Bailey, you paged?" Addison greeted with a small smile, ignoring the interns. The four all leaned on the desk and stared at her with their mouths slightly open. Dr Bailey began explaining the situation.

" Don't you all have something you should be doing, instead of standing around gawking!?" Addison turned barking at the interns. They all scrambled off down the hall. Miranda eyed Addison concerned.

" Everything all right?"

" No, everything's one huge mess but that's the story of my life." She sighed.

The interns turned the corner and Meredith walked into Derek, who grabbed her to ensure she didn't fall over. Meredith noticed that he didn't look good, his eyes had dark circles under them and he looked lost.

" Have you been a victim of Addison's wrath too?" Meredith enquired trying to lighten the situation.

" What?" Derek asked confused.

" We just saw her and she was not in a good mood! Not that I blame her…"

" She's here!?" Derek asked, feeling hopeful.

" Well yeah, didn't you know?"

" Yeah but I've been waiting down in the lobby, I thought she hadn't shown up."

" Well she definitely showed up and she's on full form today, I wouldn't recommend talking to her, unless you want to die."

" I have to make this right." He walked off, leaving Meredith to watch him go, like so many times before.

_Derek and Meredith were sitting on the bench- watching Doc play._

" _Are you pregnant?"_

" _Yes."_

_Derek grinned. " I'm happy for you."_

" _Me too." She didn't smile though; Derek shouldn't be here with her._

" _Is it mine?"_

" _No."_

" _That doesn't matter I'd love any child of yours, I love every part of you."_

" _It does matter Derek. We shouldn't even be having this conversation…"_

_She felt a lump lodge in her throat. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't cry._

" _What's going on with Addison? Is she coming back to work?"_

_Derek didn't say anything. He felt ashamed; he didn't know the answer. Meredith realised this._

_" So you've still not spoken to her." Derek looked down, upset, not even being able to answer._

* * *

Derek had been frantically searching the hospital for Addison. He noticed her up a head walking with Miranda. He sprinted.

" Addison." Her heart stopped. She knew it had been coming, she had known she would see him; she had expected to see him before now so she should have been prepared. Unfortunately she wasn't.

" Please don't stop." She asked Miranda who was confused but heard the pleading in her voice so did as she asked.

Derek knew they could hear him but weren't stopping he ran right up behind them.

" Addison please."

She still said nothing and continued walking. He reached out and touched her arm in a bid to stop her. It worked; she stopped dead in her tracks. She gulped and turned slightly.

" Derek please get your hand off me." She stated quietly so as not to cause a scene.

" Addie I haven't seen you in almost two weeks you haven't returned any of my phone calls. We need to talk."

" Get your hand off me!" She says more forcefully. He reluctantly removes his hand.

" Leave me alone Derek."

" Addie-"

" Everything okay here."

Mark Sloan had walked up to the group. Addison looked up at him. He stood tall and strong; like a knight here to save her. She felt warmth at this.

Mark and Addison lay lazily on the new sofa in her new house. Mark had bought it for her as a surprise housewarming gift. It was gorgeous – his good taste always astounded her. They had been discussing her going back to work. She was worried but Mark had assured her it would be fine. Now she was drifting off to sleep. Mark cautiously and carefully laid a hand on her stomach, so as not to wake her.

" _Hey kid, it's your uncle Mark. I'm the guy that's going to teach you all kinds of inappropriate stuff that your mom will hate. You're pretty lucky you know cuz your Mom is awesome and she is going to love you so much."_

_He picked up the blanket that had fallen off Addison and recovered her. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. He got up and slowly let himself out. Addison affectionately rubbed her stomach. She had heard every word._

" Everything's fine Mark." Derek said. Mark was looking at Addison.

" Good because I was hoping to steal her away for a consult." He said not taking his eyes from Addison's.

" Of course." She replied practically jumping towards him and they hurriedly walked off down the hall.

" Thank you! I just couldn't deal with him yet." Addison said.

Derek and Miranda watched them walk off.

" What the hell did you do?" Miranda enquired. Derek sighed.

* * *

Meredith walked into the empty elevator, glad to be alone. She was tired; she hadn't known how much pregnancy would take out of her. Today had been a bad day, with Addison back she felt horrible. Even worse because everyone loved Addison. And because Addison's being back was the biggest piece of gossip for the day. She couldn't escape it.

The elevator doors opened and low and behold even more proof the fates hated her, Addison walked in.

Meredith was unsure of what to do.

" Addison…Derek and I didn't sleep together."

Addison laughed bitterly.

" Right."

The elevator doors opened once more to reveal Derek standing there. Addison rolled her eyes and strutted out of the elevator. Derek looked at Meredith apologetically and chased after Addison. Meredith contemplated what to do before slowly following them.

Addison hurriedly walked away.

" You're going to have to speak to me sometime. We're having a baby for Christ sake."

" Well how bout we talk about the fact you had sex with Meredith the night I told you we were having a baby?" she spat.

He looked saddened. " We didn't sleep together."

" Great. You've both concocted a story I see."

He sighed. Meredith watched them from a nearby wall. A few other people were watching also as it was obvious they were having a heated discussion.

" We kissed Addison but that's it."

" Oh that's it? That's it!" She shouted now grabbing lots of people's attention, including the people below, which happened to include Bailey, the interns and the chief, who looked pissed off.

" So what her underwear just happened to fall off into your pocket?!"

Meredith flinched. Everyone would hate her now. _Maybe I deserve to be hated._

" Okay so we almost did…but we stopped. And I'm sorry I-"

" Who stopped it?"

" What?"

" Who stopped you or Meredith?"

Derek couldn't look at her.

" Let me answer that huh? Meredith stopped it and I bet you've been wondering why, maybe because Meredith knew I was pregnant. She knew and she let you touch her and undress her and kiss her. Which is bad enough! But what would have happened if she hadn't have stopped?"

Tears were in her eyes as all her anger poured out.

" I'm done Derek, I'm done fighting for someone who doesn't want to be fought for. You deserve each other."

She looked over and saw Meredith. Then she looked around and noticed the audience she had just aired her dirty laundry too. _That's just great._

I felt this chapter could have been better but oh well this is how it turned out_. _Review please.I am excited to write the new chap read on for a little clue on what might happen - if you want one

_A doctor might just become a patient  
_


	15. The Beginning of the End

Thank you for the reviews :) I don't own GA

Meredith yawned; it had been a long week. She had been working with Addison all week, which she had initially been surprised with. Since the very public argument between Addison and Derek, things had been even tenser between the two women. But at the beginning of the week Meredith had been the only intern available and Addison reluctantly recruited her. Meredith knew everyone was talking about her, that they all thought she was a home-wrecker. But she was tough skinned and certainly didn't feel the need to justify herself to gossiping nurses. She felt a small twinge in her stomach and took a few deeps breaths knowing it would pass. It had been a regular occurrence the past few days but it was to be expected considering the baby was moving around now. This was something she had first felt at the beginning of the week and like Izzie had said it was truly amazing. Meredith was excited, tomorrow she was getting an ultrasound and the baby would be a lot more developed now.

She headed out of Seattle Grace with a smile, thinking about the prospects of the following day.

* * *

The next day lunchtime came and Meredith headed to the interns locker room ready for her appointment. She arrived at her locker only to receive a page from Satan herself. She reluctantly headed back down the hall.

" Grey I need you to scrub in." Addison stated.

" But I'm off this afternoon, I was just heading out."

Addison eyed her annoyed. Surgeons never turned down surgeries: the concept confused them.

" Grey I won't offer again. Besides you know the patient would want you there, they all appreciate the fact that you're pregnant also, it makes them feel safe."

Meredith considered this; she knew it was true it was the only reason she had been with Addison this long. Addison had taken her on the first day as there was no one else but when Meredith proved to be popular with all the patients Addison couldn't very well remove her from her service and so the love rivals had been bound together all week. She hesitated.

" I…I have an ultrasound."

" Oh for god's sake Meredith, you're a doctor you work in a hospital you can get an ultrasound anytime. I mean if all else fails I'll give you one."

Meredith decided to go with it Addison was right, she could get an ultrasound later and soon she'd have a baby to take care of – she may as well scrub into all the surgeries she can right now.

* * *

A month had passed and Meredith had, unfortunately still been working with Addison. She had been so tired recently and Addison certainly did not make this any better, making Meredith run all over the hospital at a moments notice. She was convinced Addison was doing it to make her life hell.

Meredith walked in step with Addison while they headed towards a patents room. Suddenly feeling a little dizzy Meredith slowed up and took a moment to lean against a wall. She was so tired today.

Addison noticed Meredith had stopped and turned round annoyed. If Meredith complained of being tired once more! Meredith was young at this stage in pregnancy she should be energetic there was no way Addison was going to go easy on her, she knew Meredith was complaining for nothing.

Meredith clutched her stomach as she felt a slight cramping. Addison didn't say anything but Meredith could tell from her stance she was annoyed. Meredith rolled her eyes; she really didn't care what Addison thought anymore. The cramp subsided and she straightened up and continued down the hall – this time not bothering to get in step with the older woman.

Later that day Meredith walked down the corridor receiving another cramp. She knew the baby had to grow and so her stomach had to stretch but did it have to be so uncomfortable? Addison caught up with her looking for test results. She noticed Meredith's actions.

" Are you alright?"

" Yes." Meredith replied sternly.

" Did you ever get that ultrasound?"

" I haven't had time, I'm always here!"

" Well do you want me to give you one, check everything's alright?" she said seeming genuine.

" You're the one who's constantly rolling her eyes every time I need to much as slow down, mumbling about how this is my most energetic time in pregnancy. Besides I'd rather not have you do it."

Addison looked slightly sad momentarily but nodded in understanding.

* * *

The next day Meredith received a call from the gynaecologist. Frowning she answered.

" Hi Dr Grey? This is Dr Stone. It seems you've had an ultrasound overdue for more than a month now. And it's my understanding that you've been experiencing some cramping and excess tiredness? Now while these are common pregnancy symptoms it wouldn't help to check them out once you come in."

" I'm sorry, I'm confused. Where did you get that information?"

" From you boss. She's an idol of mine actually. Dr Montgomery?"

Meredith's blood boiled. Where did Addison get off? She had no right to call her doctor; she had no right to interfere with her life especially since the only thing wrong with Meredith was having to see Addison everyday! Now the last thing she needed was some mediocre doctor while idolised Addison Sheppard.

" Oh right. Well actually since I've been so busy with work, I've just gotten an OB over here; I guess I forgot to mention that to Addison which is why she called you. But thanks for everything."

She hung up and went to go hunt down Addison. Stepping into the elevator she was greeted by the familiar face of Derek Sheppard.

" Hello."

" Hello." She replied, clearly distracted by something else. He chuckled.

" Everything all right?"

" No! Your stupid wife is making my life hell and I am so tired of it."

She softened a little whilst looking at him.

" But I guess I'm always tired now. Growing a person ya know?" Derek nodded smiling – though of course he couldn't know fully considering he was male.

" What did Addison do this time?"

Meredith sighed.

" She treats me like a second class citizen. Always acting like I'm complaining over nothing. It's not my fault we can't all do pregnancy as gracefully as Addison Forbes Montgomery Sheppard." She said in a mocking tone. And then chided herself.

" Sorry. I know she's your pregnant wife."

The elevator doors opened. He leaned in towards her ear.

" You apologize too much." He breathed her in for a moment and stepped out of the elevator.

* * *

Derek, Addison and Meredith were all, much to their disdain, standing around a patient's bed, deciding on the best course of treatment. Meredith had been hadn't been feeling well today and was struggling to listen. She was holding on the end of the patient's bed and unbeknownst to the other two this was so she could stand up straight.

" Meredith." Addison said sternly, sounding bored. Derek eyed her as if to say don't be so harsh with her.

" I'm sorry what?"

" I need you to go book OR 1, for tomorrow." Seeing Derek's face " Please." She said like a spoiled child being forced to apologize.

Meredith turned to do as she was asked but only got a few steps before stopping as she felt her stomach twinge.

" Dr Grey, I don't have all day."

Meredith didn't answer feeling like she was going to throw up. Addison and Derek approached her.

" Meredith are you alright?" Derek asked worriedly.

" I'm fine, just got a cramp it'll be fine in a minute."

Derek looked at Addison for confirmation of this fact, not wanting anything to happen to Meredith.

" Cramping is very common in pregnancy as your stomach and uterus have to expand. Most women worry for nothing. But your doctor hasn't told you to watch out for anything has she?"

Meredith remembered the conversation with her doctor earlier; she made a mental note to see a doctor asap. But for now wouldn't give Addison the satisfaction of knowing she didn't have a doctor. _If I left my medical care up to Addison she'd probably kill me._ She thought, only half joking.

* * *

Meredith ran down the dark corridor. She was out of breath. Shivers of fear swept down her spine.

Meredith gasped and opened her eyes. She was sweating. It had only been a dream, more to the point a nightmare- her third this week.

Meredith decided to go downstairs for a snack; she doubted she'd sleep after this.

She walked into the kitchen to find one Izzie Stevens.

" You have the creepy dream again?"

" Yeah."

" That sucks. Here have a cookie." Meredith reached over for one.

" Mer looks like your hands are swollen."

Meredith groaned; she already had swollen feet and ankles.

" Great." She replied nonchalantly. " You know as is it's not bad enough that Addison makes my life hell at work she has to ruin my sleep too!"

Izzie pager started to go off and she looked grim. Almost instantaneously thuds could be heard upstairs as George and Alex's pagers must have also went off. Meredith's pager having not gone off, she thought she had been spared.

" What's up?"

" There's been a huge crash on the freeway."

Just then Meredith's pager also went off.

" I guess it really is all hands on deck."

" Maybe you shouldn't go in, you're not really at your best." Izzie said looking out for her friend.

" I'm fine. We better get ready."

* * *

The interns arrived at Seattle Grace and were met by the residents who were at the A&E entrance awaiting the ambulances. They stood behind Bailey ready to assist.

The ambulances came. All the surgeons jumped to work. Upon entering the hospital they found an already bustling and over crowded place. It was going to be a long night.

Three hours later, Meredith started to feel light headed. This was all so over whelming, much more than she had ever remembered it to be. She had a pounding headed. _I need to stop. _She knew that wasn't an option as she received several calls from various corners of the room, as her colleagues wanted her help.

Meredith was standing just not moving – trying to block out her headache and wishing the light-headedness would subside. Derek looked up from his patient and noticed this, Addison also noticed as they had both shouted on Meredith a few times. They could instantly tell something was wrong. They caught each other's eye and silently communicated that they had to go help her. They both finished what they were doing and had someone else take over for them before rushing over to Meredith.

" Meredith." Derek said looking concerned.

Meredith's headache pounded on and she felt acid swish around in her stomach. The last thing she saw was Derek's face as she fell to the ground.

Derek and Addison raced into action, calling for a stretcher and trying to get Meredith to regain consciousness.

" Still think she's over-reacting?" Derek said angrily. Addison gazed at Meredith guiltily; she should have paid more attention. _This is all my fault._

They rushed Meredith towards a trauma room. They weren't fast enough as Meredith's body started to shake and fit violently and a pool of blood appeared from her vagina and spilling onto her legs. All the doctors working on patients in the pit had seen this and their hearts sank into their chests as Meredith's friends, the Chief and Bailey were among them.

Thank god I checked this chap, I had uploaded the old version :P Thoughts? Big things coming up.


	16. You Gotta Fight

Thanks for the reviews guys, appreciate them :) Finally a new chapter woo! Feels like its been forever. Okay so this one **features a dream thing which in my head was similar to the bomb ep when Meredith was talking to Derek and also the ep where she drowns and she's in the hospital with Denny and Co. So I felt as though I should have kept it the same and set it in the hospital but in the end just did my own setting,** you'll see what I mean. Oh and I'm no Doc so I tried my best with the medical stuff. Enjoy. Don't own Grey's don't sue ;)

Derek hurriedly pushed Meredith's bed into the trauma room, Addison on his heels. As soon as they were in the room Addison quickly got to work. The interns and Bailey soon followed also: concerned and wanting to help. Everyone looked on in fear. The chief entered the room.

" What are you all doing in here?" He boomed.

" I'm treating her." Addison replied.

" I'm her resident."

" I'm her person."

" So are we." Izzie said pointing at herself, George and Alex.

" I'm…" Derek struggled for a term to describe himself. " I'm staying."

The chief sighed, succumbing to the fact no one was going to leave. He looked at Meredith and his heart sank. He wasn't going anywhere either.

* * *

_Meredith stood in a beautiful garden. She had never seen so many flowers. She smiled she felt so warm and – happy. She looked up and saw Derek. He walked towards her and she laughed as he held her waist looking down at her._

" _Why is it that in life or death situations you're always there?"_

_He smiled lovingly._

" _I think you already know the answer to that." He kissed her forehead. She chuckled._

" _I'm beginning to think these weird dreams are real."_

" _Who says they aren't?" She looked at him as if he were crazy. Of course this wasn't _real_! He took her hand and they started to walk through the trees._

" _Meredith why do you think we're here?"_

" _Don't" She whispers. " Don't ruin it yet. Just…just for a little while lets just be here, in this beautiful place."_

_Said it all  
Nothing to say at all  
Nothing to say that matters  
Haven't we said it all?_

" Derek." Addison said more forcefully gaining his attention.

" I need you to go get an ultrasound machine." And he turned and left carrying out her request.

" O'Malley I need you to take this and get the results now and I mean now." She handed him a blood sample and he raced off down to the lab.

" Is she going to be okay?" Izzie enquired. Alex subconsciously reached for her hand and she held onto it.

" Well I've put her on Dilantin so she hopefully won't seize again. And the bleeding has stopped so she's not bleeding out – yet."

" And the baby?"

" Well like I say the bleeding has stopped but she could have still be miscarrying. But -" Addison had her hand on Meredith's stomach " The baby's moving." A small smile played on Addison's lips. _You have to be okay, baby._ She silently wished.

The others in the room all visibly relaxed.

" But I'll know more once Derek gets the ultrasound. It's not looking great at this point I think she has eclampsia."

" But isn't it too early for that?" Bailey asked.

" It's rare but it can happen this early especially if the patient has been under a lot of stress." Addison picked up Meredith's hand. " Her hands are swollen and it looks like her face is too. Has she had any symptoms pre-eclamptic or otherwise?" Addison asked the interns.

" She's been having headaches." Izzie glanced at the others. " And she has been acting weird."

" Weird how?" Addison asked clearly annoyed at having to prompt her: this wasn't a game.

" Well I think she's been suffering from paranoia. She's …been paranoid about you – she's been having nightmares that you're going to kill her."

Alex snorted and Christina smacked him on the back of the head.

" This isn't funny jackass."

" Well the way she said that was kinda funny." After receiving glares from everyone he apologized and hung his head.

" It definitely sounds more and more plausible as eclampsia." Addison looked down at Meredith sadly. " Damn it." She said quietly. _Where the hell is Derek?_

* * *

Meredith was running giggling, Derek was chasing after her. He grabbed her and stopped her laughing too. His face became serious. He pulled Meredith down to sit on the grass. She rolled her eyes.

" _I guess it's time to talk."_

" _Yeah. Do you know why we're here?"_

" _Umm because I'm on conscious and this is one of those reoccurring dream things we have." Derek glared at her._

" _Be serious Meredith. I don't want to lose you. I can't."_

" _You're not going to."_

" _Really? Because right now it seems as if you've given up."_

" _Because I make one joke all of a sudden I've given up?!"_

" _No because you saw this happening. You watched it happen and you did nothing to stop it. You've been drowning and you let yourself sink."_

" _It's an illness it's not so easy to just fix it by myself." Meredith defended herself. Derek's gaze saw straight through her and she looked down._

" _Okay so I didn't fight, I should have saw a doctor…but what's the point anymore." Derek leaned over and laid his hand on her stomach._

" _This. This is the point." The baby kicked his hand and this made her grow upset._

" _It's too hard." He lifted her chin up to make her look at him._

" _No Meredith. It's not too hard; you can fight this. Stop complaining and just fight."_

_Tears begin spilling down her cheeks. She rose, shacking her head slightly._

" _I can't Derek." She turned to leave._

_He quickly rose also and stopped her._

" _Stop running Meredith. Just stop running. You can't just let this disease consume you."_

" _Why?!" she asked distraught._

" _Because!" He shouted. " Because I can't live without you!" he said more softly._

_In the sudden light of day  
The weight of expectation  
Hurt begins to fade  
As you find a new direction  
Been talking here for days and days and days_

* * *

Everyone in the room was gazing at the screen.

" He placenta is lying low which explains the bleeding, she's not miscarrying which is something at least. I've put her on steroids to mature the baby's lungs, now all we can do is wait and pray to god that they both pull through. Karev get her moved upstairs and monitor her and page me the instant anything changes. And I suggest the rest of you go back to work, you can't do anything for her just now and we do still have a crisis on our hands."

Addison hurriedly left the room practically finding it impossible to hold in her emotions any longer. She sought out the nearest storage closet and ran to it for shelter. She entered and tears quickly followed as she let out her guilt, pain and hormones. Mark entered the closet and she was both relieved that it was him and no one else but also annoyed that he was there at all. _Can't a girl have a good cry in peace?_

" Hey come on now, it's not going to do anyone any good you crying in here."

" But… it's… all… my… fault." She said in between sobs.

" Well that's the biggest loada crap I ever heard."

" It's true I should have recognized the symptoms. And now Derek hates me too and I don't blame him." She continued to sob. " I can't believe I'm bringing a baby into this."

" First of all Derek's an ass. Secondly okay so maybe there were symptoms but you're not Meredith's mommy nor are you her doctor or even her friend at this point, it wasn't your responsibility to look out for symptoms. And thirdly." He walked over to her and enveloped her in a hug. " This baby is going to be so lucky, lucky to have a mother like you."

She pulled back to look at him seriously.

" I'm not blameless Mark I kept dismissing her problems if I'd have taken the time to listen maybe this could have been prevented. The baby's way to premature to be delivered, I don't know if the baby will survive this."

" Well then it's a good job she has the best damn neonatal surgeon treating her." He stroked her cheek and pulled her back into a hug. This time she didn't pull back: she clung to him and let all her emotions out. She clung to him for what seemed like an eternity; he was the only thing holding her up.

" You really think the baby's going to be lucky?" she muffled into his neck.

He smiled.

" Yeah I do."

She smiled also gaining a little hope for them all.

" I just hope Meredith is lucky too."

* * *

Addison walked down the hall and spotted Derek up ahead. She quickly turned and headed back the way she came, she really wasn't in the mood for an argument. She was unlucky though as that moment she felt a tugging on her arm as she was dragged into the nearest on call room. It seemed Derek had seen her after all. She sighed into herself and hugged herself as if to try and protect herself from the abuse she was about to receive. Derek looked angry and hurt.

" She said you kept telling her she was fine. What gave you the right to just dismiss her like that? You're a doctor for Christ's sake you should not bring your personal feelings into it!"

Her eyes welled up a little. _Damn those hormones_.

" Derek I am sorry that she is sick, I really am. Do you think I would have actually wished this happened to her? Because I would never be that hateful, this is a horrible situation!"

She began crying for what seemed like the millionth time that day and Derek seemed to look a little guilty. "I get that you're angry and upset and so here you are taking it all out on me – just like always. I am so sick of it Derek! Okay so I could have been more respectful at work but she's still the woman who slept with my husband."

She hurriedly headed for the door, eager to escape.

" And I'm still your wife." She choked out as she exited the room. Derek sighed and ran a hand through his hair. _Life would have been so much easier if he were_ _gay. _

_All of the miles of words we've spoken  
All of the lines that got away  
Didn't we take the time to say them all?_

* * *

Somewhere upstairs, in a quiet room, lay Meredith Grey. It was now common knowledge that the intern was now a patient and somehow the hospital had grown a little bit quieter and a little bit slower. Because even though she was a favourite topic of gossip and the butt of a lot of jokes - the staff at Seattle Grace were a family and family took care of their own.

Attached to several machines Meredith lay peacefully, deceiving to the naked eye, as looking at her, one would certainly not think she was sick. It had only been a few hours but already her room had been showered with gifts of people showing their support.

A dark haired figure sat sullenly at her bedside listening to the beep of her heart rate.

George O'Malley clutched his good friends hand.

" You're going to get through this Meredith, you have to." He whispered. " You know why? Because you have someone who needs you more than anything." He lifted Meredith's hand and his own and rested them on her stomach. " This little person right here."

_When the tears fall away  
And there's no conversation  
There's nothing left to break  
That's not already broken_

The beautiful Izzie Stevens sat next to the hospital bed. The usually cheery, former model, looked broken. She stared at her friend and bit back another batch of tears. She couldn't sit here and cry; Meredith needed them all to be strong for her.

" Meredith you need to get better. You need to fight this, okay?" She took a breath. " Because you are going to want to meet your baby, you need to be here when he or she comes out. Trust me." She whispered.

" There's something I never told you but I think now seems appropriate." She sighs recalling the hardest thing she ever had to do. " When I was sixteen I had a baby. A little girl and she was _so_ beautiful. You never know how much you can love someone until you hold that tiny little person in your arms. The whole world just melts away." She couldn't contain her tears anymore.

" So you have to get better Meredith – you don't have a choice."

_You're staring into space  
And every inch of silence  
Been standing here for days, and days_

Christina yang sat at her friend's bedside feeling awkward. She didn't do emotion well.

" So Meredith you know I'm not all 'touchy feely lets braid each other's hair'. But you're my person and I'm yours so you're not getting away that easily."

She latched onto Meredith's hand, holding on forever like a child too scared at what'll happen if they let go.

_Said it all  
Nothing to say at all  
Nothing to say that matters  
Haven't we heard enough?_

Alex Karev stood reading Meredith's chart and scribbling down her vitals. He looked down at Meredith sadly.

" So uh listen I'm here too, you know? Izzie told me I should talk to you or something, let you know I'm here or whatever. She basically told me she'd kick my ass if I didn't and I know she will so…"

He shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet, feeling awkward.

" Satan's got me monitoring you – not that I mind, I do kinda like you ya know?" he paused, unsure of what to say. " And don't worry I'm actually pretty good at gynie, really good actually. And I kinda like it, I think I might specialise in it instead of plastics. But you better not tell anyone that."

He swallowed.

" But maybe if you pull your ass through this I'll let you mock me." He smirked a little being Alex.

" But dude I am so not holding your hand."

* * *

Derek and Meredith were kissing. They pulled back and were out of breath.

" _That was some kiss." She laughed._

" _Well I'm trying to get my point across. You have to go back. Everyone will be crushed if you don't Meredith. You can't give up."_

_She looks into his dreamy eyes and searches his face._

" _I know."_

_Said it all  
Nothing to say at all  
Nothing to say that matters  
Haven't we heard enough?_

Shout out to AiLing who guessed Meredith's condition ? Felt as though I should have included more but I didn't want it to be too long so I'll just save the rest for the next chap.I'm thinking only a couple more chapters to go._  
_


	17. New Beginnings

Sorry for the looong wait. This is the 2nd last chapter. I've got new fics in the works and am kinda looking for a beta, if your interested PM me :). Thanks to everyone whose read this, its my first Grey's fic so there were many flaws. Different POVs in this.

Derek sat numbly watching Meredith Grey in her unconscious state. He listened to the sound of her heart-beat through the monitor, grateful that something still showed she was alive. It seemed like she had been like this for so long, he had almost forgotten her laughed, he longed to here it again. Being a doctor he knew she was getting the best care but as her former lover he felt so very helpless.

He had been at Meredith's side every available minute. Addison had been working fiercely, out of guilt. She knew he was here all the time but had not bothered to protest. Truth be told they were hardly speaking. He sighed at this. He knew he should at least be making an effort to speak to her, she was his wife and more importantly she was carrying his child. This was an issue that they had barely addressed together, just as he was going to try and figure out what they were going to do - Meredith had collapsed and this horrible regime had set in.

And so here he was sitting by Meredith's bed for another evening, having barely spoken to anyone all day except when it was absolutely necessary for him to.

The door opened and Addison Montgomery Sheppard walked in. She saw her husband and her chest tightened slightly but she said nothing. She understood why Derek visited Meredith and she didn't resent the fact but she couldn't help but feel sad every time she walked in and witnessed it. Especially since for the last month she had barely seen her husband; she missed him.

" Hey." Derek said quietly, offering her a small smile.

" Hi." She began studying Meredith's chart, checking her vitals and scribbling away; lost in her work. Derek took a moment to study her. She was still breath-takingly beautiful even after 12 years of marriage, adultery and all that jazz. He noticed that stress was taking its toll on her; she looked exhausted. This disturbed him as Addison never looked bad, never let anything get the better of her. His eyes travelled down her body as he took in the rest of her. Her breasts were certainly much bigger now - something which as a male he could appreciate. His eyes continued down and settled on her stomach. It was much more round than the last time he had looked and he was almost taken a back. Though he suspected that it was more likely he had simply not noticed, rather than Addison had ballooned over night. Addison placed a hand on her stomach and started absent mindedly rubbing her stomach.

This caused conflicting emotions inside him. Firstly he was touched by the scene in front of him- that was his baby inside there. But secondly he was ashamed because this was something he had barely acknowledged and simply shoved to the back of his mind.

As if on cue, Addison looked up and noticed Derek staring. She flipped the chart shut and set it down.

" She's doing okay." This broke Derek out of his trance and he looked up at her with child-like eyes. This melted her heart and she turned on her heel, eager to escape him.

" Addie wait." He had to speak to her now, suddenly aware of the fact his wife was pregnant and he was ignoring her. He rose and she turned slowly back to him.

" We should talk." He continued gesturing for her to come and sit next to him. She hesitated. He looked at her with his McDreamy eyes and she couldn't resist.

" How are you?" He enquired.

" I'm okay." He raised his eyebrows as if to say 'really?'.

She sighed and looked down.

" Well health wise I am, the baby's good – kicks like crazy." She smiled brightly and he could see how much she loved this baby and he was glad that he could have given her this as he was starting to think this was the last thing he would ever give her.

" But I miss you and I know it's my own fault that we're in this situation but you're the love of my life Derek and watching you whilst you're in love with someone else isn't exactly easy for me." She had to blink back tears as her hormones nearly get the better of her and his heart breaks.

" I just don't want to admit that our marriage is over." A few tears spilled onto her cheeks and Derek quickly hugged her. She hugged him back and relaxed a little.

The moment was short lived as the room filled with the urgent beeping of Meredith's heart monitor.

" We have to get her into surgery now ,before she goes into multi-organ failure." Addison says quickly going into surgeon mode.

* * *

" The baby's bradycardic."

Tensions were running high in the OR room. Meredith had just finished seizing and was heavily bleeding, Addison was trying to work as quickly and efficiently as she could but the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach was making it difficult. She was sweating and could feel goose bumps covering the surface of her skin. Derek was watching her every move, his gaze never wavering – scratch that they were all watching her. It felt like the entire staff were all in here or in the gallery, it felt like it was immensely overcrowded, probably due to the weight of them judging her every action and there wasn't a chance in hell any of them would leave to give her room to breathe. She had been under pressure often in her career and yet nothing could compare to having Meredith Grey on your operating table.

She let out the breath she was unaware she had been holding and skilfully moved the scalpel over Meredith's abdomen. Surgery being second nature to her, in no time at all she was lifting baby Grey from Meredith's womb.

" It's a boy." She grinned breathily. For a millisecond a calm fell over the OR as those closest to Meredith looked on in awe.

Then the moment was over and Bailey whisked the baby off into his incubator, along with Izzie and George.

" Let's get her closed up and back to us." Addison said to Derek, to reassure him.

" It's a beautiful day to save lives."

Addison and Derek stood around the clear incubator enthralled by the tiny baby inside.

" He looks just like Meredith."

" Yeah." Addison smiles and reaches in and holds his hand.

" Now we just need to wait for Meredith to wake up and take him home."

" Yeah." Derek replied evidently worried. Addison placed a comforting hand on his back.

" It'll be okay." She said sighing hoping that they all would be.

* * *

Addison sighed looking down at the paper in front of her. It confirmed that Meredith's baby wasn't Derek's. Instead of feeling relief, Addison felt sick. Meredith was her friend, despite everything, and she had invaded her privacy. She sighed again and just silently prayed that Meredith would be okay and that everything would work out.

* * *

Two weeks had passed and baby Grey had proven to be a popular edition to Seattle Grace hospital with him having frequent visits from a variety of staff at all different statuses; nurses, interns, residents, attendings and the chief of surgery himself, who of course felt like a surrogate grandfather him. No one had been there as often as Addison Shepard, granted she was his doctor but until Meredith woke up she felt she had to stay with him as often as she could. He was only innocent in all of this.

Sitting in the rocking chair in the NICU, Addison sat rocking slowly with baby Grey peacefully in her arms. She was lost looking into his tiny face, he had made great progress and was almost ready to go home.

" Addison."

Her head shot up to the doorway.

" Meredith! You're awake!" she grinned ecstatically, forgetting herself for a moment. Meredith's eyes fell to the bundle in Addison's arms and she started to wheel her way over to them. Addison carefully stood and then placed the baby in Meredith's arms.

" He's doing very well." She then awkwardly cleared her throat and started to make her way out of the room.

* * *

Meredith had felt so tired when she awoke and even more empty. It was so strange not to have a baby in her uterus. She had had no memory of what had happened but was quickly filled in before demanding to be taken to her baby. She had been so nervous making her way up here. What if she screwed this up?

The nurse had left her in the doorway where she had seen Addison Montgomery caring for her son. She had felt a little strange at this and still felt a bit weird with Addison.

But then Addison had placed this little person in her arms and she was overcome with such emotion and she just knew she would do everything she could to make his life perfect.

She was now aware of the fact that Addison was leaving.

" It's alright Addison." She said quietly.

The older woman doubled back.

" What?"

Meredith couldn't pry her eyes away from the baby. She smiled and then looked up at Addison, inspired by this new little person.

" Truce?"


End file.
